Being in Nigeria, I haven't had the opportunity to meet that many potential partners of a different race. However, I did meet one white guy who said he was looking for "an African queen" once and I immediately cut off all contact and blocked him cos I'm not about that life.
Tina Noire - 5 years ago
Upon meeting a potential suiter, before numbers are exchanged, I look for red, conservative, and anti-black flags because they might be waiving. If they call me chocolate anything, I'm out immediately. (It's weird from any guy) If they ask me if I'm "into white guys," I'm out just as fast. (Screams insecurity about a potential coupling). If they see fit to announce that I'm the first black woman they've been "into," issa no. If they over or misuse AAVE, I'm out. And if they tell me I'm a special sneuxflaike black, I run. Sometimes I call them on their BS (by asking questions to lead them to logically understand why these things are offputting). Sometimes I don't.
*hope this helps someone because it can be really hurtful to develop feelings for someone who may never commit to seeing you as a fully developed person, rather than a caricature of all their dehumanizing views of black womanhood.
Alicia - 5 years ago
Mine is very weird. I "dated" a guy from up north (who had a thing for dominicans) that lied to his friends and told them I was mixed with hispanic knowing I am not because he asked me when we first met. Both my parents are black, but I do know a good bit of Spanish (from school) and I wear a wash n go a lot. He also used to say dumb shit like I don't even fuck with Black women but I fuck with you tho. Like, nigga is that supposed to make me feel special? I realized that he liked my soft spoken nature (probably so he can try and control me). I eventually had to block him, he was all messed up in the head. smh.
Being in Nigeria, I haven't had the opportunity to meet that many potential partners of a different race. However, I did meet one white guy who said he was looking for "an African queen" once and I immediately cut off all contact and blocked him cos I'm not about that life.
Upon meeting a potential suiter, before numbers are exchanged, I look for red, conservative, and anti-black flags because they might be waiving. If they call me chocolate anything, I'm out immediately. (It's weird from any guy) If they ask me if I'm "into white guys," I'm out just as fast. (Screams insecurity about a potential coupling). If they see fit to announce that I'm the first black woman they've been "into," issa no. If they over or misuse AAVE, I'm out. And if they tell me I'm a special sneuxflaike black, I run. Sometimes I call them on their BS (by asking questions to lead them to logically understand why these things are offputting). Sometimes I don't.
*hope this helps someone because it can be really hurtful to develop feelings for someone who may never commit to seeing you as a fully developed person, rather than a caricature of all their dehumanizing views of black womanhood.
Mine is very weird. I "dated" a guy from up north (who had a thing for dominicans) that lied to his friends and told them I was mixed with hispanic knowing I am not because he asked me when we first met. Both my parents are black, but I do know a good bit of Spanish (from school) and I wear a wash n go a lot. He also used to say dumb shit like I don't even fuck with Black women but I fuck with you tho. Like, nigga is that supposed to make me feel special? I realized that he liked my soft spoken nature (probably so he can try and control me). I eventually had to block him, he was all messed up in the head. smh.