5 Comments

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  Alicia - 3 years ago

  Weddings are for rich people. If I ever get married we going to the courthouse and we will just have a reception somewhere for no more than a couple hundred of dollars. Hell maybe even a cookout and splurge on some crab legs! Mmmn. But anyway I notice a lot of people I know have been skipping the whole wedding ceremony and just having a reception.

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  Ro - 3 years ago

  I said yes cause I'm a people pleaser and I just know the guilt would get me.

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  Erica Collins - 3 years ago

  In the event I could not attend I would just send a very nice gift in addition to the gift I probably already purchased.

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  Zindzi - 3 years ago

  I'm in Nigeria and we don't really have the concept of rsvp'ing for a wedding cos our weddings are always over the top. You always expect at least 10 to 20 more people than you invited cos we love a party and some people will turn up even when they don't know the couple. So, a no-show isn't offensive unless it's someone you're close to. In that case it's not about the money so there wouldn't be an invoice. Also, if it got out that you sent invoices to people who didn't show up at your wedding, you would not be able to live that down cos the talk around town would be all about how stingy and/or broke you must be to expect your guests to pay for your wedding.

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  Angela - 3 years ago

  I wouldn't no show unless there was an emergency. I would send the gift as soon as possible but beyond that, not paying an invoice. The only time I can imagine being a no-show (besides an emergency) is if there were some sort of falling out or bigot reveal beforehand. I wouldn't show and they would know why.

  At any milestone event, it should be understood that there will be shenanigans. I had a pretty low-key but traditional wedding that included a rehearsal dinner, reception with cocktail hour (limited open bar for cocktail hour only because people will drink you out of house and home), and a breakfast brunch for overnight guests (my parents paid for that because I was going to cut folks loose). We had the opposite problem of people bringing extra folks who weren't invited. Luckily the venue and caterer were cool and had extra food and chairs, but that was an extra cost we did not expect. As hot as I was about that, it didn't cross my mind to invoice her for her pop-up tag-alongs.

  I had to really work hard to find great vendors with somewhat fair prices. Also, this was twenty years ago; it would be impossible to have the wedding that we had for that cost today. A lawyer I worked with at the time said he offered to pay his daughter's house downpayment if she didn't have a big wedding. He said, "It's a better investment." It seemed strange but still kind of like a good deal. It was too late for me at that point, because we had paid our deposits. These years later, I would jump all over that deal without hesitation if someone offered it to me.

  Even though we did not go into debt to pay for our wedding and everyone had a great time. I now think we should have had an even smaller event and used the money for our house or retirement or something. Weddings can be such a grift that unless you have a lot of disposable cash, most of us would be better served using that money for something else, like property, retirement, or a super nice honeymoon. Unless my kids end up with wealthy partners, I am totally encouraging them to think about investing that money elsewhere. We can always have a party in the backyard or hit up a restaurant.