The Picayune Sentinel's Special Christmas Tweet of the Week poll: Which of these top 10 tweets do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged)
Money was so tight last Christmas, I had to sell a kidney so I could afford gifts for my kids. But this year it's even worse: I’m actually having to contemplate selling one of my own kidneys. — @WheelTod
[opening presents on the 5th day of Christmas] "I'm gonna be real with you Karen. If there's more birds in this box I'm leaving you" — @SortaBad
The most unbelievable thing about “Die Hard” is that the office Christmas party is happening on Christmas Eve. — @ObscureGent
I’m not anti-Christmas; I’m just pro-humbug. — @TheAlexNevil
Why would I not be able to recall the "most famous" reindeer of all? —@drankturpentine
If a package marked "FRAGILE" arrives and you don't say "FRAH JEE LAY! It must be Italian!", are you still a dad? — @perlhack
Technically, every dollar I’ve spent on toys and treats for my kids is hush money — @RickAaron
Is it “shit show” or “shitshow?” I wanna get this holiday family newsletter right. — @itsBABYSMITH
Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing. — @WoodyLuvsCoffee
[office party, 1842] Ralph Waldo Emerson: The only gift is a portion of thyself Me: Look Ralph, the rules to Secret Santa were very clear. — @TheToddWilliams
They gloss over it for the sake of children, but the line “thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump, look at Frosty go” is about Frosty the Snowman bashing villagers over the head with a crowbar. — @badbanana
Most people don't consider the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" a Christmas song but my kids soon will. — @RickAaron
Do or do not. There is no Santa. — @JimmerThatisAll
How old were you when you realized that if the gift card said “from mom and dad,” 98% of the times your dad had no idea what the gift was. — @Havish_AF
Why aren't there more Christmas songs about revenge? — @JohnLyonTweets
Mariah Carey beginning with “I don’t want a lot for Christmas” and then revealing she wants “you” is such a good burn. — @iamchrisscott
Never assume that's her "ugly" Christmas sweater...I know this now. — @silkymilky14
Don’t forget the real moral of Rudolph's story is that no one will like you until you have something they want or need. — @pineapplepleas
This year for Christmas I'm renting a really nice car & putting a giant red bow on it so the neighbors think I have a girlfriend. — @WoodyLuvsCoffee
It’s wild how someone lied about how they got pregnant 2000 years ago and now I have an air fryer. — @videojame_
Mary: Can you rub my feet? Joseph: is there a way I can do that without actually touching them, and yet somehow, as if by magic, you still benefit? Mary: OK, I can tell you're still angry. — @FredTaming
Peace on earth, Goodwill to men.* *I give all men on my list gifts from Goodwill. — @RickAaron
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