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I disagree with you on this one. There is plent here to hold my interest.
I really liked the first sentence and a half, and wanted this to be a yes. But...alluded? Her mark had referred casually or ondirectly to her capture long enough? Sorry, but incorrect word choice is a stopper. There's also some typos - records government records, quiet wealthy. Keep working at it and don't submit until it's perfect.