The Picayune Sentinel's Quip of the Week poll returns! Which of these top 10 quips from social media do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged) (Poll Closed) (poll 15311389)

The Picayune Sentinel's Quip of the Week poll returns! Which of these top 10 quips from social media do you find amusing? (Multiple selections encouraged) (Poll Closed)

Whenever I see chocolate, I hear two voices in my head. One of them says, “Eat the chocolate.” And the other one says, “You heard her, eat the chocolate.” — unknown 18%
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing, except when you’re at a funeral. — unknown 14%
Crappy diem: When you have seized the wrong day. — @ToolGirl18 13%
Someone just called my son “gay” on Xbox, and he responded, “I’m straighter than the pole your mother dances on.” — unknown 11%
This "all purpose" flour did not get my car clean at all. — @bestestname 10%
What I'm hearing is, you Googled and discovered I'm not actually a therapist. How does that make you feel? — @kipconlon 10%
It was easier to make friends as children because you just had to be the same age as someone. — @citizenkawala 10%
Ladies, text your man, "I want to talk when we get home," so he knows you're thinking about him. — @HenpeckedHal 6%
You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “Hotdogs! Hotdogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hotdogs. — @MoMohler 4%
Oh, pardonnez moi. Didn't meant to be a “third wheel.” Enjoy your precious anniversary dinner. — @kipconlon 3%