Would you turn Kieron's page? Be tough. Share insights with a comment.

Poll choices
1 Comment

  • John V - 11 years ago

    It started off well and I liked the voice, but it turned into an info dump. It needs action and/or dialogue and shorter paragraphs. More clues on what he's about to find in the flea market would also be good, if it's something interesting.

Leave a Comment

0/4000 chars


Submit Comment