I, John Scalzi, Command You to Do My Bidding!
What? No, you silly man.
Will there be cake if I do? Because, you know. I'd do a LOT for cake.
I did your bidding yesterday. I'm not, like, a bidding machine.
Well, see, the last time I did your bidding, I got a rash. I don't want a rash.
I took care of your bidding before you asked, because I'm pre-emptive that way! Also I sneak in and stare at you while you sleep.
Give me a sec. I need to file down my fingerprints first.
Sorry, I have to do Neil Gaiman's bidding, and then Charlie Stross's. What can I say, I'm swamped.
I did your bidding once, and got stuck with an eBay tchotchke I didn't want. You still owe me $38.50 for it.
Me do YOUR bidding?!? You're supposed to do MY bidding!
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