Thank you for voting Crowdsignal Logo

Or does this one get the page turned?

  •  
     
  •  
     
Total Votes: 67
2 Comments

  • Craven - 15 years ago

    Your strongest opening is the second one if you drop the first paragraph. The second paragraph grabs you and would make a great opening. If information in the first paragraph is vital, sprinkle it in later.

    Just my opinion, but try it and think it over.

    Good luck -Craven

  • John V - 15 years ago

    No turn - the first coupla paragraphs were over-written - webs/trail of breadcrumbs/ping-pong is too much.

Leave a Comment

0/4000 chars


Submit Comment

Create your own.

Opinions! We all have them. Find out what people really think with polls and surveys from Crowdsignal.