I'm also sorry, my argument reads like shit. It's finals dude and I'm in survival mode. My advice for you, is meet some cool mormons and give them a shot. There are some pretty rad ones out there who actually are willing to have critical conversations about the church and their sometimes bassackwards beliefs (which usually change 3 decades later anyway). Try to give us all a break. Everybody sucks in some ways, mormons just tend to assume they don't suck at anything and put on blinders to a real world experience. They are missing out on so much and sometimes they need people to show them it's okay to think differently.
I feel bad you have had such a poor experience with mormons. I myself am a pretty mellow version of a mormon.. some people find me offensive but I see churches in general as highly political. First, mormons didn't let black people in, then suddenly god decided they were okay? Then we couldn't drink beer-because we were drinking SO much beer we basically did nothing but drink SO MUCH beer. We are closet beer lovers. Whatever though. Then we couldn't have caffeine- we still can't have coffee (i guess I should say shouldn't be cause I am sitting here with a mocha), or tea, but the church bought stock in Coca Cola and now soft drinks and caffeine were okay. Mostly, I get upset that once it was black people and now it is gay people. Its all political and it bores me. I see no reason to continue this pattern of mind-swapping and pretending to exclude perfectly righteous groups of people who want to love God too. I love my gay friends and I like a lot of teaching within the church. It's a struggle for a lot of us mormons too. Just wanted you to know we aren't all the same, and for some of us, it is difficult wanting to stay in it, but a live a life of moderation and tolerance. To each his own, I enjoyed your article. Hugs for you and the bf!
So far, all of your friends' comments, mine included, wonder how they have any fun if they don't drink... that might say more about your friends than about the Mormons! I'm Just Sayin'... (I just had to add that, given your gerunds post...)