Would you turn Tami's first page? Be tough. Comments help the writer.
1 Comment

  • Irene - 10 years ago

    To me, the original beginning sounded a bit like backstory. There was no action in it; it wasn't a _scene_, just some narration. Now the bit you suggested is exactly that -- a scene, full of action and conflict. Although I'm really not into teenage sex stories -- so I don't think I'd ever read this or similar type of book,-- I have to agree that the second opening you suggest is much much stronger.

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