Prologue was excellent. I was standing right behind the person entering the house. I was living it in my mind.
I was lost at the first line of first chapter. Had to reread to get the sense of what I was suppose to be feeling or seeing...An it just did not click.
'Starting over. That was the whole point of this, right?' point of what?? Question to soon. At this point you have change scene from opening prologue so page in my head blank. Give me something to see, some reason to feel, first.
Make me see and feel as you (we) travel done the road. Then when I'm(reader) ready to ask you why (the whole point) hit me I'm listening.
Prologue was excellent. I was standing right behind the person entering the house. I was living it in my mind.
I was lost at the first line of first chapter. Had to reread to get the sense of what I was suppose to be feeling or seeing...An it just did not click.
'Starting over. That was the whole point of this, right?' point of what?? Question to soon. At this point you have change scene from opening prologue so page in my head blank. Give me something to see, some reason to feel, first.
Make me see and feel as you (we) travel done the road. Then when I'm(reader) ready to ask you why (the whole point) hit me I'm listening.