IMO, she shouldn't do it if she is totally repulsed by it. She will resent him for it. I think the husband is justified in wanting spontaneity. Their sex life sounds pretty bland to me, 1X a week. Its good thing is that at least they are able to have an open discussion about the matter. There ae other kinky things that they can try other than anal sex.I think she just becomes a little more adventurous he may not want it as much. Diversion.
I think the wife should consider it. It can be a very pleasurable thing once you get over the stigma. In a marriage, you aren't supposed to do everything your husband thinks you should, but you should definitely consider it.
Wow. The Back Door is a sensitive issue, in more ways than one. Since the 1 of the partners says NO, how about instead of doing research on lubricants, the husband do some research with the wife on how she'd like to add variety in their sex life. Maybe she won't do back door, but she will do role play, or alternative locations, or reading erotic literature to each other. Maybe working together, you can find something even more exciting than going through the Back Door.