The bogan’s response to Charlie Sheen’s partying-related hospitalisation will primarily involve:
Rushing down to JB Hi Fi to purchase any and all Two and a Half Men stock
Rushing down to the supermarket to buy up any and all stock of Mr Sheen
A resolution to “totally smash it up” this weekend to emulate its hero
A realisation that immense wealth and celebrity can have pitfalls
A heated debate about whether Young Guns or Young Guns II was a better film
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