You know me as VishOnAMish on twitter. I voted boobs. Why? Because I've lost quite a few people to the Big C, am losing someone at the mo, and have also seen other people kick its arse. I have no fricken idea what I would do- or what you should do. I know happiness is a choice, and I know the choice you have to make is difficult, so I'll be crossing fingers and everything else in the hopes that optimism works in either case. A: You have chemo and kick arse and still return to athletics, now stronger and more determined and tougher than ever. B: You don't have chemo and ditto the rest. I committed a great deal to my sport over more than a decade and I had to retire with regrets, but I've built a life of happiness away from it too... I'm sure you'll make the decision that is right for you.
Leo, I haven't seen you for maybe 20 years but I've read your blogs and am overwhelmed by your courage and humour. I'm a Doctor working in Sydney now and although i may only have a small idea of what you have sacrificed for your atheletics and even less idea what you may sacrifice in the future I would encourage you to look at the numbers. Imagine a gun with 100 barrels and 1 bullet and a gun with 4 barrels and 1 bullet. Which one would you rather play Russian roulette with? You may live to regret having chemo if it damages your athletics but at least you'll live in order to regret it. If you don't you may not be around that long to regret anything, you might not get enough warning next time.
I hope you dont mind me chucking my opinion into the mixer after so long out of touch.
Having nailed my colours to the mast, I'm sure that whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you.
Best wishes, Olly
Odds of it returning without intervention are 1 in 4. If you had chemo now it might set your goals back, but by how much is hard to fathom. I voted no to chemo, but I've never been related or close to someone with such a decision (nor do I properly understand the rigour of athletics training) and you have very strength-related life goals, physically and mentally. It sounds like you are torn between rebuilding your strength to compete after chemo, or taking a risk, but importantly a decreasing one, to be your athletic best sooner. It is a question of total relief post chemo, or increasing faith as time passes. Both choices will make everyone proud of you. Listen to those you trust, but also your gut feeling; all advice confirms or refutes it.
Having chemotherapy now would get it over with. You can then focus on training without thinking if the C is going to make a reappearance and mess it up again!
You're tough, you've already demonstrated that!
Leo, I think you have your answer in the fact that you're the happiest you've ever been. I remember your athletic talents at school, you were born to do it. I would say that if the Cancer comes back, cross that bridge then. Life's short anyway! Good luck, whatever you decide.
Have the chemo Leo, then you can get on with your life. Less worries in future. xx