Which animal species, if provided with opposable thumbs, is most likely to DOOM US ALL?
32 Comments

  • Mike - 10 years ago

    Platypi. They are angry about being thrown together out of spare parts, and the fact we gave them such a silly name.

  • Peter Eng - 10 years ago

    Humans.

  • Shawn T - 10 years ago

    Since goats are vegetarians (and don't need thumbs to desertify an area)
    I'll go with Guinea worms.

  • El Jefe - 10 years ago

    Stinking badgers...

    Cockroaches. QED.

  • Joyce - 10 years ago

    I voted for badgers, but want to specify honey badgers. They make tasmanian devils (the real ones not the cartoons) look sweet and cuddley. Though many of the species named have the right to be pissed at humans.

  • Eric J Ehlers - 10 years ago

    All you people choosing "Cats" clearly don't know very many cats. Cats don't NEED thumbs to doom us all. We're already here only at their sufferance.

  • Dave - 10 years ago

    Cats & Dogs love us, so do Sharks in a different way when they can get a nibble. Bees, Crows & Polar bears I'm sure have better things to do than thinking about *us*.

    But Pigs, oh my. All that bacon. 2 millenia of bacon. When pigs are uplifted and given thumbs, their vengeance will be terrible...

  • tubin - 10 years ago

    Raccoons... although I thought they already have something thumblike, wikipedia says they don't. Raccoons are clever and utterly without conscience... if they had opposable thumbs they'd pick our pockets, use our keys to let themselves into our homes, and we'd be out in the street forthwith.

  • Dee - 10 years ago

    Elephants. They are smart and big and have reason to be disappointed with the human race. If we submit, we'll probably be fine, though.

  • AndrĂ©s - 10 years ago

    I think the edge which cats have over other species, which might be stronger or more savage, is the centuries of behind-the-lines recon they've have. My cat most certainly plots and takes notes.

  • Erica - 10 years ago

    I really don't know how crows are losing so badly. Cats at least like cuddles and so would keep us around for that. Crows I think would annihilate us without a second thought. They're SCARY

  • Curtis - 10 years ago

    to anyone confused as to why cats are winning, please direct yourself towards youtube and search for "cats with thumbs"

  • Nick Reinartz - 10 years ago

    I would like to see a poll on which animal would make for the deadliest zombie. I think dogs might have a fighting chance there if we narrowed it down to domesticated animals...

  • j - 10 years ago

    dolphins

  • GP - 10 years ago

    Penguins!!! Why are there no penguins?

  • Matt - 10 years ago

    It's all about dolphins. I actually voted for polar bears, because they have the best reason to be mad at us (i.e. we are literally crumbling their world around them) and would therefore wipe us out. Also they are large and impervious to most everything except climate change.

    But dolphins are way smarter. I'd say baboons, but they're kind of disorganized and basically have thumbs anyway. Dolphins can already to backflips and make bubble art. With thumbs they'd he all over us, and we'd probably still find them adorable.

  • Nimble - 10 years ago

    Racoons! Watch out for the surly gangs that congregate after dusk.
    Oh wait, they already have opposable thumbs.
    Whew.

  • cornman - 10 years ago

    If we taste as good to the pigs as they do to us.....DOOMED!
    nom nom

  • Lindsey - 10 years ago

    I'm having trouble picturing bees with opposable thumbs. I mean, where would the thumbs go? I imagine they'd be too small to be of any use. :)

  • Hilary - 10 years ago

    Arghhhh can I change my answer? I *cough* did not finish reading the whole poll and freaked out and clicked squid/octopus because I'm sure they are already plotting to take over the world! But I don't think opposable thumbs will do anything for them because if they feel like it they'ld twist their tentacles INTO opposable thumbs, therefore not *needing* any!

    Cats. Cats will be the ones with the most to gain with thumbs!

  • Eric - 10 years ago

    Squid/octopi, definitely. They're clever enough already, and have no real reason to keep humanity around, and that calamari thing is probably rather annoying.

    Also, everyone who voted for cats: it is true that cats with opposable thumbs will no longer need humans to open cans for them. However, given the options:
    1. Stop napping and destroy all humans and open our own cans
    2. Keep napping and let the humans stick around to keep opening the cans
    which do you think cats are going to pick?

  • joshua m. neff - 10 years ago

    Bees, schmees! Wasps are the real angry bastards of the insect world. They can sting you as many times as they like and will do it for no reason than they're just in a pissy mood. Which they are. All. The. Time.

    Fuckers.

  • Mr Teufel - 10 years ago

    Don't crows already have opposable thumbs? What they need is an extra pair of legs so they can use both hands together.

  • Sophia - 10 years ago

    I don't quite understand why cats are winning. Yes, they're totally convinced they're better than us, but I'm pretty sure we'd just be beneath their notice if they acquired opposable thumbs.

    My vote is for crows, as they're far more likely to be cheerfully malicious. Plus, they're clever.

  • Angie - 10 years ago

    If dogs had opposable thumbs they'd clean the house and cook dinner for us.

  • Steph - 10 years ago

    Cats, obviously. They already have a plan in place, and are just waiting for the means to bring their plan to life.

  • nathreee - 10 years ago

    squids don't need opposable thumbs, they just need to invent a way to come out of the water. Cats on the other hand... They will enslave us one day. Mine has already figured out how to open tupperware and doors.

  • Thom Marrion - 10 years ago

    I love the fact that no matter how varied the votes are, everyone so far agrees that dogs would never hurt us. They're the one ally in the animal kingdom humanity on which humanity can always depend.

  • Regan - 10 years ago

    Monte: Not if it were RADIAL opposable thumbs.

  • Monte Davis - 10 years ago

    Wouldn't opposable thumbs be a downgrade for squids and octopuses?

  • Mark Boozer - 10 years ago

    Dolphins of course. The'll be pissed at us for the shitty way we have treated the oceans.
    If they get thumbs they will be able to tie the fishing nets to each other and the humans will starve. And squads of suicide dolphins will shut down the sonar on the worlds SSBN's causing head on colisions with other nations tuna boats. China will have to stop exporting Giant panda's after they fail to side with the bottlenose society in their struggle for free calamari. It will be pandalerium
    And yes, I said this on porpoise. ;)

  • pete darby - 10 years ago

    Oh dogs, you adorable losers...

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