House is on fire, cat is pregnant, the car is possessed by demons, and he's trapped in the house gorging on wasabi peas, which only makes things worse. Granted, it distracts him from the fact that the house is on fire but the badgers are getting upset. On the bright side the locusts are almost finished eating through the power lines and as soon as the computer shuts down Microsoft will stop randomly replacing verbs.
(Of course he's trapped inside! For Pete's sake, do you expect him to leave the house when it's surrounded by tree ghosts, the demon car is out there, and a goat and a dog are squabbling over who gets to eat his work? Besides, the appropriate attire is a tuxedo and his hasn't come back from the cleaner yet.)
Oh, wait... you meant to ask "which excuse might my editor actually believe"?
Curse these damned new bifocal progressive lenses! What was I thinking getting new glasses when I was on deadline! Not only cannot not I see clearly but I have a raging migraine headache worse than anything that Michelle Bachmann has EVER had.........
My favourite was always, "It blew off the bus and a goat ate it" it had that charming ring of verisimilitude.
Now I want wasabi peas.
I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT! I SWEAR TO GOD!
To quote Jake Blues, "Honest... I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD! "