Crap! Ok, after reading it with option B as the opening, even I, (the author) have to vote no on the version I submitted.
None of the stuff in the first paragraph is even necessary...I definetely needed to get to the meat faster! Especially since this scene is in the middle of the novel's story. I think I was attatched to it for vanity's sake....I like how this bit looks in my mind (does that sound crazy?) but I will get over it.
Thanks so much...not sure I would have found my own way there.
Emily
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Crap! Ok, after reading it with option B as the opening, even I, (the author) have to vote no on the version I submitted.
None of the stuff in the first paragraph is even necessary...I definetely needed to get to the meat faster! Especially since this scene is in the middle of the novel's story. I think I was attatched to it for vanity's sake....I like how this bit looks in my mind (does that sound crazy?) but I will get over it.
Thanks so much...not sure I would have found my own way there.
Emily