The first line hooked me but then the abrupt switch to history lecture threw me off. I think waiting a little to lay on those details, or even just cutting it to one, would help things flow better. I like what comes afterwards.
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The first line hooked me but then the abrupt switch to history lecture threw me off. I think waiting a little to lay on those details, or even just cutting it to one, would help things flow better. I like what comes afterwards.