The Super Bowl is today. Who's going to win?
The New York Patriots
The New England Giants
The Black-and-White Stripey Team (SteelyKid's favorite)
No matter how much they love our country, a giant would totally crush a dude with a musket.
Patriotism is wicked awesome! U-S-A! U-S-A!
That one team with the good-looking quarterback who throws the ball to that other guy.
Manchester United
France
Bud Light
Puppies!
I would like to make a comment about how watching televised sporting events is beneath me, in fact I don't even own a television, but I have the minimal social graces needed to know better.
Watching televised sporting events is beneath me. In fact, I don't even own a television.
I would like to berate anyone who buys into this obscene consumerist spectacle for being an unthinking tool of the Man, because I'm that sort of tiresome scold.
I would like to sternly lecture you about the frivolity of watching televised sporting events when we're all DOOMED by climate change, because I'm that sort of tiresome scold.
As a being of pure intellect, I perceive all of space-time as a four-dimensional object stretching from the Big Bang to the end of the universe, and thus I already know who will win.
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