Also, a message to Michele ~ Since when is it OK to lie to your boss? Ever?
A message to Hannah about the scenario of Billy pushing Bob off the swing & kicking him, that is a serious issue & could result in broken bones or possibly a head injury to Bob.
Certainly a talking to & having Playtime removed is a good thing, but if he were to do it again, or to another child, as some children will continue to push their limits,( as it could create temporary or permanent damage to another child), a slap on the bum should be warranted!
I was spanked perhaps 5 or 6 as a child and I hold no ill will to my parents for doing this.
I learned right from wrong.
I do not agree with slapping a child to the face, or beating a child, but I do believe if more children learned right from wrong, our world would be a better place & as they grow up, they would have more respect for the elders & authority.
Many children will push their limits, whether in school, or out of school.
If we did something wrong at home, we received a "No, don't do this, with an explanation" second time it was a loud "No, with a "Readers Digest" explanation" If we did it again, we received a spanking on the bottom.
We did not do it again.
It taught me not to lie, cheat, litter, or steal & to respect others.
I own a business now, a Fitness Centre & see many children walking by on their lunch break. 60% of the kids going by are swearing, smoking, swearing, littering in front of my business & when I speak to them about it, they give me the middle finger. The candy & pizza they are filling up on is another story! Yikes!
I would never do that as a child, as I was much too afraid of my parents spanking.
With more disrespect for authority, we will have more kids growing up & learning authority by the police & the working class will have to pay for their jail time.
That is not right, and could be changed if parents would take the time to instill a gradual discipline, but ultimately respect for authority!
Don't beat your kids, but teach them right from wrong!
I was spanked growing up, not with any kind of frequency but on occassion. I think lying was one of the behaviours I was spanked for. Imagine you lie to your boss about being sick and when you are caught he hits you, in what universe would that be ok? Children can learn and be reasoned with!
I don't understand why it would be okay, in some peoples eyes, to hit their children when it would be illegal to do the same thing to someone else on the street. It is never okay to hit a child.
@ Angel Schur -
I fully agree with you and I would like to add to the part about where you mention seeing people spanking their child. That takes it to whole other level, when a parent spanks in public you now have public shaming hurting that child as well as the physical and emotional hurt that child is experiencing just from the physical act the parent is bestowing upon them. That is pure abuse without question.
Children don't know everything, as a parent it is our responsibility to teach and guide them by providing the information they need. I am not saying children shouldn't experience some kind of punishment but the punishment needs to fit the crime, so to speak. For example, Billy pushes Bob off the swings and then kicks him while he is down. You take Billy aside and tell him what he did is wrong and why it is wrong and what that would be like if it had happened to him. You have Billy apologize to Bob, when he understands what he has done and is ready (sometimes this is later not right away and that is okay) and then you take Billy home. Playtime is over! On top of that perhaps Billy doesn't get to socialize at all with his peers for a few days and you remind him why whenever he is asking to go to the park or to see his friends etc.
Hopefully for most people who do spank my example is not one worthy of spanking. It is simply an example of how to teach a child when they have misbehaved. The teaching has to fit what is going on at the time or the learning doesn't happen. I can't think of one circumstance where spanking would fit with any misconduct on the part of a child. Teaching a child through knowledge and awareness takes consistency and it isn't always convenient as a parent to have to avoid the playground for a few days but it really does make life easier in the long run, and much quicker than you might think it would! This is because most children learn really fast especially when it directly impacts the things they love.
Hitting a child is pure laziness on the parents part. It is an absolutely unnecessary act to help a child understand. Yes, sometime you might have to run out and grab a child firmly and quickly to move them from harms way but spanking them for any reason is a total cop-out on the part of the parent. Being a parent is a responsibility that takes our time and it takes creative thinking to do it well. No child (beyond newborn babies) is too young to understand anything, unfortunately too many parents can't be bothered to figure out how to explain at levels that a child can comprehend because it requires thought and time so they take the lazy route and spank instead and/or just say "no" (another pointless thing to do with children).
I was spanked as a child and it never made any sense to me, even with the explanations and talks that came with them. I was one disrespectful angry teenage girl towards my mom because I had no trust in her. All spanking did was show me how to hurt and to hate.
I now have an eleven year old son that I have never raised a hand to and he never acts in a manner that requires any form of punishment. I truly believe that full honesty and explanations with sound reasoning at every turn necessary create well educated thoughtful children who behave well, respect and listen, as my son does.
I am disgusted that we still have Laws that allow spanking of children to take place at all.
I can definitely understand how excessive physical discipline can lead to aggression but I would be very sceptical that children who were disciplined under the limits set by the Supreme Court would show the same trend.
Young children lack reasoning skills and could actually be put in danger if parents were unable to sufficiently make their child understand that certain behaviour must be avoided. It is a parents responsibility to make a child understand that there are limits and it is up to that parent to decide the manner of discipline. To restrict a parent's capacity to do their job could be very detrimental and could even be used as a tool by the disrespectful child against the parent.
Some of the biggest things a parent must remember is never discipline a child while they are angry and do not to use spanking as a first resource.
I believe that the child must be reassured by the parents after the spanking. The child has to understand that he/she did something wrong and that there is punishment because of that. The parents have to reassure their child that they love him/her and that they do it so that he/she will learn good conduct from it.
We get punished by the law when we do something wrong. Our children have to learn this at home instead of the hard way.
A child must not be abused, that's for sure!
I was spanked as a child and even given the odd swat on the butt with a stick. What is wrong with that? I deserved it and learned from it. I hold no ill will towards my parents and I certainly wasn't scarred mentally, physically or emotionally by it. I just learned that doing things I wasn't supposed to do was wrong and I'd be in trouble if I did it. As far as I'm concerned, this is good parenting, something sorely lacking by many parents today.
Something tells me some people find it impossible to separate discipline from assault. Of course you shouldn't beat your child but there's nothing wrong with an open handed slap to the behind when they misbehave.
I would like to share the following article which is in favor of the proper use of spanking. I have benefited greatly and appreciate the love my parents offered me by practicing this use of discipline.
Thank you for allowing me to share!
It is never okay to hit a child. If an adult hits another adult, that person can be arrested and charged. Yet hitting our children is condoned by law? The smallest, most vulnerable people in our society, and it continues to be allowed. I see people hitting ('spanking' they call it) in public places, and I want so badly to intervene. I feel nauseous. Physical discipline is unecessary. Take the extra time and use non-abusive ways to teach your child. They will thank you for it.