This first page leaves me wanting to know more. You sense some kind of struggle/danger. But there is also the element of calmness. However, I do feel like the further the page goes on the author is repeating himself.
Carolyn - 12 years ago
While there certainly is no real action to be found on the first page, the writing was smooth and easy to read. Possbily this should open as the prologue? It introduces a lot of questions that apparently arise because of previous events. The scene is one of relief. Relief from what? Why does he not expect to see this place again? What were the things endured? And the line "What was new is now old and what was old is now new" particularly draws me in. It's an opening of questions, instead of an event. Enough questions that I would turn the page in hopes of finding answers.
This first page leaves me wanting to know more. You sense some kind of struggle/danger. But there is also the element of calmness. However, I do feel like the further the page goes on the author is repeating himself.
While there certainly is no real action to be found on the first page, the writing was smooth and easy to read. Possbily this should open as the prologue? It introduces a lot of questions that apparently arise because of previous events. The scene is one of relief. Relief from what? Why does he not expect to see this place again? What were the things endured? And the line "What was new is now old and what was old is now new" particularly draws me in. It's an opening of questions, instead of an event. Enough questions that I would turn the page in hopes of finding answers.