Bieber vs. Beaker
Bieber wins decisively, abandons singing career for MMA. He is killed in the first 4.3 seconds of his first fight.
Beaker wins decisively, goes on victory tour, starts dating Selena Gomez.
Bieber wins hard fought battle, larynx injury ends his singing career. Beliebers are crushed, the rest of us say, meh.
Beaker wins hard fought battle, marries a piece of orange felt, retires to upstate New York to raise alpaca.
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