I am a member of the LGBT project within the company I work for. Although I am not a Lesbian, I still completely support the community 100%. In High School I had many many friends that were Gays and Lesbians and ever since then I have been supporting them and was excited to officially join the group at work and do charity for them. I do not have any members in my family (or my husbands) that are ignorant towards Gays and Lesbians (that I am aware of) BUT if it was to come to surface I would most certainly not tolerate it. I wouldn't stoop to their level and leash out in an ignorant way. I would simply let them know how I feel and what they are saying/doing is offensive and go on about my business. My child and I would no longer associate with said family member and I would explain to my child why (once she becomes the correct age) why I made this decision.
da_ticklah - 12 years ago
Spot on sir, Dan Savage tells folks that are coming out of the closet to cut off family members if they are not supportive after a resonable adjustment period. That includes not coming for christmas/thanksgiving etc..
Stephen A. Smith - 12 years ago
Rod...I've known my family for a while now, damn near my whole life and I like them a lot and can't wait to see them for holidays BUT I CAN'T STAND THEM NIGGAS WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO THEIR OPINION ON SPORTS. MY FAMILY CAN ALL AGREE THAT US AS AFRICAN AMERICANS ARE TOO SENSITIVE ABOUT RACE AND WE HAVE MADE THE WORLD WEAKER AND MORE SENSITIVE BUT THE MOMENT THEY SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT MY MAN...MY BROTHER...THE HEADBAND STRUGGLE MAN HIMSELF LEBRON JAMES WE HAVE A PROBLEM AND I HAVE TO REMOVE MYSELF FROM THEM....oh wait I just realized this isn't about race or LeBron James at all. Guess I've been yelling for nothing.
Karol Santeras - 12 years ago
Coming from a pretty religious family I used to think it was really important to stick together. But after years going study abroad and living with 6 other families I reached the conclusion that mine was emotionally abusive and restraining. The knowledge equipped me the strength necessary to understand that being WITH your family is contingent on how you FEEL about yourself while in their presence. If you felt great with them and simply disagree with their politics, fine. Live with them, have contact with them, keep on loving them. But if the thought of being with them makes you feel less of a person then leaving them and maybe cutting ties temporarily is the best thing you can do. For me it was feeling the brunt of their political values because it was a 24/7 church channel in their heads. Whenever something terrible happen to a "promiscuously" dressed female the comment would be "she was asking for it and now she got it and now she's going to hell too." Hearing remarks like that and "don't eat that/buy that/go outside now, its the devil's way," was routine for me in the Santeras household. This is just one persons experience of how a political viewpoint can really fuck up your family ties.
I still have this higher idea of what a family MEANS but for now I haven't experienced it longterm enough for me to say I wouldn't leave them for the smallest political reason. Someday I'll have a family of my own and that'll change but for now I'd DEFINETLY bounce.
I don't thank it's possible. Every family has members who do things your uncomfortable with ( Crackheads, Alcoholics, Gay, overly religious, promiscuous) but you love them regardless.
My Grand mother is embarrassing as hell. An i hate going in public with her. She either cusses people out, or is so doped up on Medicine she falls asleep at the drop of a hat then wakes up and cusses people out. But im not gonna say I can't be around her, shit she changed my fucking diaper, brought me school clothes, didnt kick my ass when she knew i was drinking all her beers and smoking her cigarettes and gave me money when i was in college... she has done enough for me to deal with her racist, bigoted feelings.
Anthony " Animal Thug" Tatum - 12 years ago
My little cousin just came out last year it kind of had my family in kerfuffle. Her Dad has been all about saying her soul is in trouble and I really had to choose my words carefully with him 1)because he is family and 2) because it is his daughter and I know that might not be the life he would have chosen for her. But to say your own daughters soul is in trouble because she found love is just wrong & I had to tell him that i love you uncle but you're wrong. I respect you but you're wrong. For me to say that to a man who has been there for me my whole life was one the toughest things I ever had to do.
I am a member of the LGBT project within the company I work for. Although I am not a Lesbian, I still completely support the community 100%. In High School I had many many friends that were Gays and Lesbians and ever since then I have been supporting them and was excited to officially join the group at work and do charity for them. I do not have any members in my family (or my husbands) that are ignorant towards Gays and Lesbians (that I am aware of) BUT if it was to come to surface I would most certainly not tolerate it. I wouldn't stoop to their level and leash out in an ignorant way. I would simply let them know how I feel and what they are saying/doing is offensive and go on about my business. My child and I would no longer associate with said family member and I would explain to my child why (once she becomes the correct age) why I made this decision.
Spot on sir, Dan Savage tells folks that are coming out of the closet to cut off family members if they are not supportive after a resonable adjustment period. That includes not coming for christmas/thanksgiving etc..
Rod...I've known my family for a while now, damn near my whole life and I like them a lot and can't wait to see them for holidays BUT I CAN'T STAND THEM NIGGAS WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO THEIR OPINION ON SPORTS. MY FAMILY CAN ALL AGREE THAT US AS AFRICAN AMERICANS ARE TOO SENSITIVE ABOUT RACE AND WE HAVE MADE THE WORLD WEAKER AND MORE SENSITIVE BUT THE MOMENT THEY SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT MY MAN...MY BROTHER...THE HEADBAND STRUGGLE MAN HIMSELF LEBRON JAMES WE HAVE A PROBLEM AND I HAVE TO REMOVE MYSELF FROM THEM....oh wait I just realized this isn't about race or LeBron James at all. Guess I've been yelling for nothing.
Coming from a pretty religious family I used to think it was really important to stick together. But after years going study abroad and living with 6 other families I reached the conclusion that mine was emotionally abusive and restraining. The knowledge equipped me the strength necessary to understand that being WITH your family is contingent on how you FEEL about yourself while in their presence. If you felt great with them and simply disagree with their politics, fine. Live with them, have contact with them, keep on loving them. But if the thought of being with them makes you feel less of a person then leaving them and maybe cutting ties temporarily is the best thing you can do. For me it was feeling the brunt of their political values because it was a 24/7 church channel in their heads. Whenever something terrible happen to a "promiscuously" dressed female the comment would be "she was asking for it and now she got it and now she's going to hell too." Hearing remarks like that and "don't eat that/buy that/go outside now, its the devil's way," was routine for me in the Santeras household. This is just one persons experience of how a political viewpoint can really fuck up your family ties.
I still have this higher idea of what a family MEANS but for now I haven't experienced it longterm enough for me to say I wouldn't leave them for the smallest political reason. Someday I'll have a family of my own and that'll change but for now I'd DEFINETLY bounce.
I don't thank it's possible. Every family has members who do things your uncomfortable with ( Crackheads, Alcoholics, Gay, overly religious, promiscuous) but you love them regardless.
My Grand mother is embarrassing as hell. An i hate going in public with her. She either cusses people out, or is so doped up on Medicine she falls asleep at the drop of a hat then wakes up and cusses people out. But im not gonna say I can't be around her, shit she changed my fucking diaper, brought me school clothes, didnt kick my ass when she knew i was drinking all her beers and smoking her cigarettes and gave me money when i was in college... she has done enough for me to deal with her racist, bigoted feelings.
My little cousin just came out last year it kind of had my family in kerfuffle. Her Dad has been all about saying her soul is in trouble and I really had to choose my words carefully with him 1)because he is family and 2) because it is his daughter and I know that might not be the life he would have chosen for her. But to say your own daughters soul is in trouble because she found love is just wrong & I had to tell him that i love you uncle but you're wrong. I respect you but you're wrong. For me to say that to a man who has been there for me my whole life was one the toughest things I ever had to do.