What are some other punishments Red States can come up with to discipline unruly kids? (Poll Closed)

  • If you're caught with a Jane Lynch poster in your locker, you're forced to spend 3 months at Marcus Bachmann's ex-gay camp
    12%

     
  • If you forget to include "Hussein" when mentioning the president, you get nothing but falafel for a week
    9%

     
  • If you're black and can spell, you must write the word "uppity" 1,000 times on the blackboard
    24%

     
  • Any preschooler possessing a copy of "Everybody Poops" will be subjected to repeated viewings of "2 Girls 1 Cup"
    6%

     
  • Caught being female = instant mandatory vaginal probe
    4%

     
  • If you didn't think "Roots" was a comedy, the state automatically changes your name to Precious
    4%

     
  • If you didn't think Ike Turner was the hero of the movie "What's Love Got To Do With It?" you must repeat Home Ec
    3%

     
  • Don't like the taste of Pabst? You're no longer allowed to date your cousin
    9%

     
  • Show any signs of respect for human life past the 3rd trimester, lose your NRA card
    15%

     
  • If you can find California on a map, you're forced to go live there
    13%

     
  • Other
    1%

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