Would you turn Kate's first page? Be tough. Comments help the writer.


  • Kathleen Magner - 12 years ago

    I enjoyed the immediate clash of characters. Each was distinct and I can see how this one incident could provide a foundation for future conflicts of, what I would guess, would be greater import down the line. The one bump I had was that I didn't realize they were in a public space until the last paragraph in the snippet when the man at the next table is mentioned. It threw me out of the story’s flow because my imagination, for whatever reason, had placed them at home in a kitchen rather than somewhere out in the world. Perhaps a hint at this public setting in the initial descriptions would help in clarifying where they are having this discussion. Other than that, I found the back and forth dialogue and internal thoughts dynamic, and I wish the author all sorts of success!

  • cassie - 12 years ago

    I love the humorous mother and daughter relationship, it sounds like my mother and grandmother. I hope this gets published!

Leave a Comment

0/4000 chars

Submit Comment