Why are we going to bomb Syria?
Because it will create jobs for military contractors
Because Viet Nam, Iraq, and Afghanistan turned out so well
Because It will finally give the Kurds, Sunnis, Alawites, Armenians and the Druze a common enemy
Because there's no point in building the world's biggest firecrackers if you aren't going to light them
Because there's no way we can fail now that France has our backs
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