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Is Heavy Rock Guilty or Not Guilty of Crimes Against The English Language?


  • simonsometimessays - 9 years ago

    Guilty as charged.
    Rock lyrics can be bland:
    "Living after midnight, rockin' to the dawn / Lovin' 'til the morning, then I'm gone, I'm gone"
    or funny:
    "Take pity on two-tone Eddie, his hair was never right"
    But because being ludicrous and/or incomprehensible isn't necessary, it must be deliberate. Therefore, Your Honour, it is submitted that the elements of the following offences are fully established:
    Obfuscation and ridiculousness, with malice aforethought.
    Being drunk in charge of a pen or other instrument of writing lyrics.
    Writing while under the influence of illegal substances.
    However, in all fairness, these offences are committed in every genre, and we're going to need bigger jails.

  • Simon Putt - 9 years ago

    Not guilty, m'lud, on the grounds that the lyrics are often SUPPOSED to be big, dumb and the risk of sounding like Paul Stanley, it's meant to be tongue in cheek (and hey, I like that Kiss lyric you quote!). Except in the case of Manowar, who are intrinsically big, dumb and stupid, so they have a different kind of excuse. But more than that, heavy rock has never unleashed such atrocities as 'I'm as serious as cancer / when I say rhythm is a dancer' (which is possibly THE WORST LYRIC of all time) and 'I'll take you to the Candyshop / I'll let you lick the lollipop.' I can only applaud the genius of Black Sabbath when a terrified Ozzy proclaims that 'Satan's coming round the bend.' Or when Iron Maiden shriek that 'sacrifice is going on tonight.' And to be honest, when you've got big blokes with daft hair, stupid clothes with emphasis on the priapic and horrendous amounts of make-up, their lyrical output is not the greatest of their crimes. So I stand in defence of hard rock against the prosecution's calumnies, and hope that love pumps will continue to be licked for many years to come!

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