I don't understand this poll. It asks about FOSTER children, not ADOPTED children. Big difference, since foster children are there on a temporary basis. That said, if the pollers changed he wording I would certainly vote against letting adoptive parents give children back. And even with foster kids, all should be done to hold on to them so that they don't get bounced through the foster care system like so many do. This may involve adoption. Bottom line, disturbed kids don't need rejection, they need help-- they need, as the video said, unconditional love. That is the job of any parent.
fs - 10 years ago
This is an extremely complicated issue, and there is not a yes or no answer. Some children come with severe problems that are not evident at first, especially if you adopt an infant. If the Department of Human Services does not step in and help the parents, then there is a problem. In some areas, there simply is no help for certain special needs. And some parent don't have the knowledge or ability to be able to find resources for them or for their child. If this child was actually a threat to the family, then the parents must think about the other 2 children and they must keep them safe. I don't think that any adoptive parent would consider this route lightly. But sometimes you just have no choice. Sometimes getting the child help means that you have to place him in a residential treatment facility. And depending on where you live, there may or not be resources available in your area. No one has the right to judge these people without the complete, full story.
Janise Bradlee - 10 years ago
I believe if that child is nourish and loved just like the other children in the household, there should not be any problems.
Mommi6 - 10 years ago
I would rather them give him back, then to be reading that he harmed the whole family in their sleep or that they in a panic harmed him. Sometimes even biological parents give up their children. If children can be taken away from parents because of neglect, why shouldn't parents be abled to give them up, in cases of extreme behavoir, especially threats or violence.
Barbara Cobb - 10 years ago
yes,I would rather the child be sent back,instead of having to call thr police,and the police shoot the child dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a threat is serious!!!!!!!!!
Debbie Little - 10 years ago
I think that you done the right thing. You opened up your heart and home to this child and this is what you got. I also think that you should've tried to get this child further help if you didn't. I'm a foster parent so I can understand what you are going through. I've had some of the worst kids in my home but I tried until I ran out of options. What ever you do don't feel like you failed the child but you done your best. Don't stop doing what you're doing because there are so many more children out there that will appreciate you and your love you have to give.
Shonneque - 10 years ago
I agree that you shouldn't give the child back just because bad behavior, but I will also say I rather them take the child back then do what going on with these other kids getting mistreated and even killed...this world today is a sad, sad, place...
uniqueonne - 10 years ago
This is wrong, I am an adopted parent. My kids were 3 days old when I adopted them. Has it been easy no but the thought of me taking them back was never a option. Now 23 and 15 years old the day I brought them home they were mine. If they were your Bio`child you would do anything and everything to get them help. Adoptive children should have the same rights. They are yours too. I always have thought that adoptive children are very special because you chose them ,not like giving birth. You made a promise to this child that you will love them as yours. That you will keep them save and love them . They have already been through a great deal, taken away from your mom and then told I'm your new mommy and i will love and take care of you. I can only imagine they hurt this child must be feeling to have been sent back by the one person that said I could trust and love them,and I am safe with my new family. I am glad that someone has stood up for this child and said no this is your child and you are responsible. This is not the first Time that this has happen. But these children are not chess pieces, you can't keep moving them around. Then we wonder why Foster kids are so angry and hurt and non trusting. The adults that has promise to love and take care of you has taken you back to the system that took you away before. You can not throw Children away No matter what they have done. You get HELP !!!
Cari - 10 years ago
Under most circumstances, simple behavior problems do not warrant the surrender of the child back to the state. However if danger to other children in the home is probable or imminent, then yes, I would allow it. This child allegedly threatened the family with a knife. If the parents believed it was a truly credible threat (and if they tried to get mental help for the child and it did not help - yes there are sociopaths out there and they tend to reveal themselves in later childhood/early teenagehood, and no amount of psychotherapy or meds can help a sociopath), then I agree with what the parents did. Under most other circumstances however I do believe that a parent has an obligation to a child and should be willing to execute those obligations without a second thought.
Snuggle Bear - 10 years ago
As long as you have a receipt you should not have a problem with returns.
renee alteon - 10 years ago
I totally disagree once you adopt that child .he or she is yours.most adopted kids need to somebody that cares and loves them regardless of their bad behavior.
PaigeInKaty - 10 years ago
wrong...he's YOURS you cannot just give him back...that's probably one of the reasons for all the disruptive behaviors..when you have some adoptive parents who continually threaten and/or create a atmosphere of "you may not be here for long" as a control method...many times it backfires...so hell no...they need to grow the heck up and get some parenting sessions in and raise that kid.
I don't understand this poll. It asks about FOSTER children, not ADOPTED children. Big difference, since foster children are there on a temporary basis. That said, if the pollers changed he wording I would certainly vote against letting adoptive parents give children back. And even with foster kids, all should be done to hold on to them so that they don't get bounced through the foster care system like so many do. This may involve adoption. Bottom line, disturbed kids don't need rejection, they need help-- they need, as the video said, unconditional love. That is the job of any parent.
This is an extremely complicated issue, and there is not a yes or no answer. Some children come with severe problems that are not evident at first, especially if you adopt an infant. If the Department of Human Services does not step in and help the parents, then there is a problem. In some areas, there simply is no help for certain special needs. And some parent don't have the knowledge or ability to be able to find resources for them or for their child. If this child was actually a threat to the family, then the parents must think about the other 2 children and they must keep them safe. I don't think that any adoptive parent would consider this route lightly. But sometimes you just have no choice. Sometimes getting the child help means that you have to place him in a residential treatment facility. And depending on where you live, there may or not be resources available in your area. No one has the right to judge these people without the complete, full story.
I believe if that child is nourish and loved just like the other children in the household, there should not be any problems.
I would rather them give him back, then to be reading that he harmed the whole family in their sleep or that they in a panic harmed him. Sometimes even biological parents give up their children. If children can be taken away from parents because of neglect, why shouldn't parents be abled to give them up, in cases of extreme behavoir, especially threats or violence.
yes,I would rather the child be sent back,instead of having to call thr police,and the police shoot the child dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a threat is serious!!!!!!!!!
I think that you done the right thing. You opened up your heart and home to this child and this is what you got. I also think that you should've tried to get this child further help if you didn't. I'm a foster parent so I can understand what you are going through. I've had some of the worst kids in my home but I tried until I ran out of options. What ever you do don't feel like you failed the child but you done your best. Don't stop doing what you're doing because there are so many more children out there that will appreciate you and your love you have to give.
I agree that you shouldn't give the child back just because bad behavior, but I will also say I rather them take the child back then do what going on with these other kids getting mistreated and even killed...this world today is a sad, sad, place...
This is wrong, I am an adopted parent. My kids were 3 days old when I adopted them. Has it been easy no but the thought of me taking them back was never a option. Now 23 and 15 years old the day I brought them home they were mine. If they were your Bio`child you would do anything and everything to get them help. Adoptive children should have the same rights. They are yours too. I always have thought that adoptive children are very special because you chose them ,not like giving birth. You made a promise to this child that you will love them as yours. That you will keep them save and love them . They have already been through a great deal, taken away from your mom and then told I'm your new mommy and i will love and take care of you. I can only imagine they hurt this child must be feeling to have been sent back by the one person that said I could trust and love them,and I am safe with my new family. I am glad that someone has stood up for this child and said no this is your child and you are responsible. This is not the first Time that this has happen. But these children are not chess pieces, you can't keep moving them around. Then we wonder why Foster kids are so angry and hurt and non trusting. The adults that has promise to love and take care of you has taken you back to the system that took you away before. You can not throw Children away No matter what they have done. You get HELP !!!
Under most circumstances, simple behavior problems do not warrant the surrender of the child back to the state. However if danger to other children in the home is probable or imminent, then yes, I would allow it. This child allegedly threatened the family with a knife. If the parents believed it was a truly credible threat (and if they tried to get mental help for the child and it did not help - yes there are sociopaths out there and they tend to reveal themselves in later childhood/early teenagehood, and no amount of psychotherapy or meds can help a sociopath), then I agree with what the parents did. Under most other circumstances however I do believe that a parent has an obligation to a child and should be willing to execute those obligations without a second thought.
As long as you have a receipt you should not have a problem with returns.
I totally disagree once you adopt that child .he or she is yours.most adopted kids need to somebody that cares and loves them regardless of their bad behavior.
wrong...he's YOURS you cannot just give him back...that's probably one of the reasons for all the disruptive behaviors..when you have some adoptive parents who continually threaten and/or create a atmosphere of "you may not be here for long" as a control method...many times it backfires...so hell no...they need to grow the heck up and get some parenting sessions in and raise that kid.