One of the most important realizations I have come to is that I don’t need what you folks have in Palo Alto. Convincing people that isolation kills is just one of the many disservices the profession of psychology has perpetrated. I want true companions, I miss having friends, but I am also willing to dial down those feelings because the chance that, given my circumstances, I will find what I want is unlikely. Now I am doing much better than a lot of elderly people, because I learned to cope with isolation before the pandemic. I am not willing to make my life harder than it is by using some idea of “needs” to drive myself crazy. So thank you very much.
I would love to hear and explanation of the 4 different types of ego death.
I like the explanation of ego death as the giving up of something that we want desperately.
I think that the possibility of hankering after something that one doesn't have, or repetitive thinking about what one wants and doesn't have - especially some social achievement such as complete family, professional success, lifestyle - could contribute to depression. It also causes anger with people who one thinks have these things. The underlying feeling is actually plain-and-simple jealousy.
Redefining the sources of happiness in one's everyday life, redefining one's meaningful role in this world realistically could help to bring about that ego death. For example, instead of hankering to be a prominent participant in a social group, one could realise that it is sufficient just to enjoy the love of one's own family everyday. Then suddenly happiness is so much within reach, when the comparisons go away.
What are the four deaths of the ego?
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