Choose your favourite Burns insults!
thou carpenter, mortising the awkward joints of jarring sentences
thou brood of the speech-distracting builders of the Tower of Babel
thou persecutor of syllabication
thou executioner of construction
thou squeaking dissonance of cadence
thou servile echo of fashionable barbarisms
thou cobler, botching the flimsy socks of bombast oratory
thou eunuch of language
thou pitch-pipe of affected emphasis
thou blacksmith, hammering the rivets of absurdity
thou marriage-maker between vowels and consonants, on the Gretna-green of caprice
thou pickle-herring in the puppet-show of nonsense
thou faithful recorder of barbarous idiom
thou butcher, embruing thy hands in the bowels of orthography
thou arch-heretic in pronunciation
Other:
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