Which of these tweets is the funniest? (Poll Closed)

  • Very upset over the lack of diversity in blindfolded tightrope walking ... @puddinstrip
    1%

     
  • It breaks my heart that pirates spend their whole lives following a map, when the real treasure is the friendships they build along the way. ... @JasonLastname
    4%

     
  • Please remember to vote against anyone who might peel back their face to reveal an underlying, shape-shifting lizard skin. ... @DJRotaryRachel
    1%

     
  • Can't tell you the number of times I've walked down the street and women have told me to smile. Oh, yes I can. It's zero. ... @ScottSimpson
    2%

     
  • I try to live every day like the beginning of a compelling piece of longform journalism about my own murder. ... @BoobsRadley
    2%

     
  • I don't go back to my hometown very often because I've burned too many bridges. And also because I am wanted for bridge arson. ... @OldUncleDaveO
    10%

     
  • Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you. .. @AlanHangover
    1%

     
  • "NO NO NO NO" - the guy who invented folding chairs watching a wrestling match ... @FamousCrab
    1%

     
  • I miss the days if you were angry while on the phone, you could slam it down without costing $400... @TimB5150
    2%

     
  • "Hi nice to meet you, I'm a person whose name you're forgetting as I say it" ... @MattIngebretson
    1%

     
  • Bruce Rauner didn't cry at the end of "Marley & Me." Did he really think we wouldn't find out? .... @ChrisDowning
    7%

     
  • Password insecurity questions: 1. What was your highschool nickname? 2. How would you describe your breath? 3. What's wrong with your toes? ... @JasonLastname
    2%

     
  • What's the purpose of the Jack in the Box? The answer may surprise you. ... @Ibid78
    1%

     
  • Halloween: The day Satan introduces your child to the gateway drug to homosexuality -- costumes! ... @BettyBowers
    67%

     
Posted 4 years.