If your husband has agreed to raise your children Jewish and is fine with it, then I would strongly discourage celebrating Christmas in your home. No major explanation is required. You just say you aren't comfortable celebrating Christmas in your home but will be happy to join the family at another venue, perhaps a party room at a restaurant or hotel or at your father-in-law's house with catering and/or cooking/help from the family.
Perhaps your father-in-law is ready to give up Christmas now that his wife has passed on. Maybe he'd appreciate celebrating as always in his own home without having to travel and/or do anything. Let him know how you really feel, and see what he wants to do. You're happy to celebrate with him, just not in your Jewish home. Don't confuse being kind and loving to your father-in-law in his grief with maintaining your Jewish boundaries in your own home. They are not mutually exclusive at all.
It is hard to raise a Jewish child in this country and a balance has to be struck. As a child, I got to sit on Santa Claus's lap and tell him what I wanted for Hannukah, bring home Easter egg coloring kits to color eggs for fun and enjoy helping our neighbor's decorate their Christmas tree. every year. But we would never celebrate Christmas in our home . We didn't celebrate Christmas because we're Jews, not Christians.
Liz Kelner - 9 years ago
My granddaughter is half Jewish and half Italian so thatay be one reason celebrating both holidays feels appropriate but mostly it's because Jesus (and his parents) were Jewish. I teach my granddaughter (age 6) that we celebrate Christmas - the birth of Jesus - because Jesus was a good Jewish man who wanted peace for all. And we celebrate Chanukah as the joy of light and miracles. I feel great pride that the world pays such great homage to this Jewish rabbi - not a common perspective - but one that leads to inclusiveness and avoids the dilemma this column is addressing.
ernie - 9 years ago
if your mother-in-law isn't jewish than neither is your husband. and if your kids are jewish through your husband they aren't jewish either. so celebrate away!
Miriam Esris - 9 years ago
A Jewish person should NEVER celebrate Christmas! I think that the father in law needs to start a new tradition in the family by celebrating Jewish holidays and not ones that have brought only pain to the Jewish people.
If your husband has agreed to raise your children Jewish and is fine with it, then I would strongly discourage celebrating Christmas in your home. No major explanation is required. You just say you aren't comfortable celebrating Christmas in your home but will be happy to join the family at another venue, perhaps a party room at a restaurant or hotel or at your father-in-law's house with catering and/or cooking/help from the family.
Perhaps your father-in-law is ready to give up Christmas now that his wife has passed on. Maybe he'd appreciate celebrating as always in his own home without having to travel and/or do anything. Let him know how you really feel, and see what he wants to do. You're happy to celebrate with him, just not in your Jewish home. Don't confuse being kind and loving to your father-in-law in his grief with maintaining your Jewish boundaries in your own home. They are not mutually exclusive at all.
It is hard to raise a Jewish child in this country and a balance has to be struck. As a child, I got to sit on Santa Claus's lap and tell him what I wanted for Hannukah, bring home Easter egg coloring kits to color eggs for fun and enjoy helping our neighbor's decorate their Christmas tree. every year. But we would never celebrate Christmas in our home . We didn't celebrate Christmas because we're Jews, not Christians.
My granddaughter is half Jewish and half Italian so thatay be one reason celebrating both holidays feels appropriate but mostly it's because Jesus (and his parents) were Jewish. I teach my granddaughter (age 6) that we celebrate Christmas - the birth of Jesus - because Jesus was a good Jewish man who wanted peace for all. And we celebrate Chanukah as the joy of light and miracles. I feel great pride that the world pays such great homage to this Jewish rabbi - not a common perspective - but one that leads to inclusiveness and avoids the dilemma this column is addressing.
if your mother-in-law isn't jewish than neither is your husband. and if your kids are jewish through your husband they aren't jewish either. so celebrate away!
A Jewish person should NEVER celebrate Christmas! I think that the father in law needs to start a new tradition in the family by celebrating Jewish holidays and not ones that have brought only pain to the Jewish people.