The recommendation to dilute a Jewish religious ritual conducted in one's own home so as to make it more satisfactory or pleasing to gentiles is both ridiculous and offensive.
Yo...why tone it down? Are you asking for him or for yourself? Go look in the mirror and dig deep. I say your beaus will be fine. Judaism and reverence in general is diluted enough by liberalism, hold onto your heritage and relish it...don't take responsibility for ruining your Grandpa's gig...he looks forward to it all year I am sure... Azizen Pesach to you and your mishpacha....
Bob of the deep...aka W2CYK
Passover is the story of the Jewish People.
No! Absolutely not. Judaism is a rich and varied religion/culture. I think it is better to show a prospective Jew what you already know, then to try to control the experience. If the boyfriends remain serious, they will eventually experience "other" Seders. It does not help to filter out such an experience. Let them see, in the beginning at least, how your family celebrates Peach. There will always be time to delve into other traditions within the Judaic spectrum. The sacred celebration of Peach isn't a show for someone's entertainment.
I am a Jew by choice. I attended my first Seder while dating a Jewish woman. It is partially because of the authenticity of that first experience with Judaism that I saw the beauty of the religion. Would not trade that for anything.
other than just leaving it alone you could ask grandpa if you can bring anything to add to the ritual.. if it's no it's no but if it's yes - this could enrich the Seder and start a family tradition that brings some flexibility and creativity and meaning to the Haggadah....good luck ( but pleasing your boyfriends is totally irrelevant to the issue in my book)
Explain to the boys your grandfather's frame of reference. If they're unable to grasp it or to empathize with him do you really want them as boyfriends?
There is a richness about the Seder and being exposed to it is both interesting and inspiring. If the true tradition of asking questions (other than the four) it can be educational, funny and inclusive. Dumbing it down seems offensive.
No it should stay the same