Select up to 10 answers.
not so fast abe
free the slaves pls
Hello, friends. I just wanted you all to know that I was deported back to my home country after my marriage fell apart. I'm currently living underneath the teacup of a purple elephant. Isn't that hilarious?! Despite this, I've still managed to revisit this thread every day like clockwork (orange?) for the past 7 months because I'm a fighter and a flawless human being - unlike Michael Abelson.
Unfortunately, I still have not received any emails from Scott, Paul F., or President Obama, so I'm thinking they must have been intercepted by the mailer daemon LOL. But seriously, guys - email me immediately at firstname.lastname@example.org. It's very important, just like me. If my inbox is full, keep trying, and I know that your accolades will reach me in eventuality.
Welp, the big white nurse with the big long needle is saying that I have to go back to my rubber room now. I'll see you all tomorrow - and the day after that - and the day after that - and asdj tjd afjftth th! Oops, autocorrect kicking in. Now that's funny! Or maybe it's just the meds. Only the shadow knows. email@example.com
... the above should have read: "...threatening to [violent thing] someone's [body part] for the 15th time..." PLEASE forgive me.
I like Lauren Lapkus as the O'Malloman twin and Traci Reardon, but I agree that HoHo sucks and I feel like I'm the last sane person on Earth when I hear everyone in the room cracking up at her threatening to someone's for the 15th time in two minutes. But that's just one 30-something white man's opinion, so it's objective and correct.
sorry i'm late guys. i also like laurie lapras
If you don't think Lauren Lapkus is funny, you're deeply broken inside.
I think HoHo is funny.
i think todd is funny
What can we do about this Lauren Lapkus problem? I'm a huge fan of this podcast, but I cannot bear to listen to one more goddam Todd or HoHo episode. Her timing is off, her characters are unoriginal, and she disturbs an otherwise typically superb dynamic. She laughs at every single one of her terrible dick jokes. And I totally understand that intentionally awful dick jokes can sometimes be really funny. Jason mantzoukas successfully lands his dumb dick jokes all the time. But he also has a razor sharp wit, great observational humor and even sophisticated current event material in his arsenal that he can fire in the midst of his attack.
Lauren Lapkus offers none of this. Nor anything else that the other guests bring to the table- Andy Daly's versatility, James Adomian's creativity, Nick Kroll's zest, Paul F Tompkins'... sheer comedic Genius. I mean, the man is at the top of the fucking comic food chain. I shouldn't have even entered him into comparison. There is no comparison to PFT.
POINT BEING- please, please, please, Scott (for whom I also have enormous respect), STOP INVITING LAUREN LAPKUS TO YOUR SHOW!!! You've created Such an amazing show, and I have faith that it will remain an amazing show until you decide to stop. Don't let it be tainted by this complete lack of talent. I love ya buddy. All of ya! Except of course for fucking Todd. And HoHo.
Let's keep this thread open.
Because if my situation, I receive free therapy on a weekly basis. and I am mentally diagnosed as normal BTW.
I am not a victim - and I love despite all of the shit I have been through which would crush a lot of people.
I don't want to expose myself to ugly bullies anymore. Let's kill this thread.
Am also not schizophreniic either BTW, but am not going to respond anymore, and hope that the moderator ahuta this board down aoon
I am not illegal - am statusless there is a difference. - have been legally married for 18 ura. Am only posting as a protecton.
Someone should tell Scott a painfully unfunny schizophrenic illegal alien has lost all respect for him.
get help, my friend. seriously.
The only thing that really bothers me about what I wrote this morning is that it still makes me look crazy because it is long and disjointed. Very true.
I should be working fir survival now, but instead focusing on this unhealthiness, and letting time pass as if anything further written from me would improve things.
People are now going to say OK now I understand why he is bonkers, and then find a way to bash me or find something wrong with ne, or judge me for my personal struggle which I hope to use to help other people in similar situations some day if I am ever to find a way to legally solve it. I have met other people in similar situations, and have even met other atatusless or undocumented white Americans
I would love to help kids some day so they don't have to go through what I went through. So be it - let everyone judge me and bash me - haters going to hate. Forget Plato & Socrates; Taylor Swift is the real philosopher. I know that I have navigated through this uncomfortable thread with love for humanity, humor, and grace the best I could, and hopefully that somehow my "bizarre ramblings" will create some good, but am not sure how. I feel that I permanently lost respect in people I have respected like Scott Aukerman - it is what it is. As I said, it wasn't AbelFan & others fault - it was mine because I am responsible for my own responses.
I love CBB and certain Earwilf podcasts, which I will continue to listen to, because life is nothing without humor.
I tried to approach this mess with humor, grace, and love since the beginning/but failed.
I like to make up my own CBB characters on my head like an Australian or British Naturalist who comes into the studio wanting to taxidermy Scott and put him in the Smithsonian because he believes he is descended from the Great Auk and the Beothuk Indian, both which were both driven to extinction for various reasons - but some escaped on an ice floe in the Labrador current, and while on the ice floe produced offspring which ended up in the American South and intermingled with the Europeans and the Cherokke, and Scott would be one of the direct descents, and the Episode would be titled the Great Aukerman.
That is my sense of humor - and it doesn't seem funny written out, but since I am not an impro artist - am going to write it out instead.
I have been working my situation within the law - always have, and we will see what Obama says.
Because of those people (some were nasty; others were wanting to understand) on that other thread I felt that I had to put myself in a bit of dange this morningr by telling a private struggle to the world that only a few close friends know and risk danger/further judgement, and further exclusion. My life is safe, I habe a lot to be gratwful for, and I want to keep it that way + and not throw it away because I dared to speak my mind against some people whom I should have had better judgement in responding over the course of a month and this morning.
I went to the poll http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/27642-best-of-2015-voting to let them know because I would not made my explanations if not for this poll.
I was going to post this, but was shut out - Ha! they shut out the statusless individual who has faced rejection all of his life, and has triumphed through it. The person with no ID against his will. Nasty people.
Dan Engler - your comment was funny, but you didn't make this thread about the Best of - it was made about me. We all have are hardships and struggles - mine is just unusual - and honestly would not have had to explain myself if not for this thread.
Fister Roboto and Shampoodler - you chose to be nasty. That says a lot about you and your character. You don't want to be liked or respected by people - that is your choice. I work with grace, love, and humor. I will not have anything to do with you any further.
Personally, I would have wanted to keep it only about the Best of CBB - but everything somehow spiraled out of control. Hope we can close this off for good.
Go to the poll - see what I wrote - and see what they wrote about me since the beginning.
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/origin-story-a-documentary#/ Lets end the Best of and concentrate on something good and brilliant - Kulap's Origin Story - lets end this on a positive note. Every one should see it. And, yes, I am on the level.
PS: There was only one mention of the Eagles of Death Metals Ep without the historic connotations of the Paris Attacks. Colinary Journey is now a part of history, and the Paris Attacks connection should have been mentioned since the episode was used by major networks after the attacks since it was EoD Metal only interview. No nods to Reggie leaving the TV show. Harris Wittels should be honored and will be. Am also sorry that the Music episodes were not better appreciated like they deserved.
REPOSTING - ORIGINAL GOT CUT OFF: (Part 3)
It would be nice to go on the forums and disappear and comment as everyone else, but I don't think I can now.
BBBBonus - it would behoove many of the sardonic white males on the Earwolf forums to learn from a very good podcast on the Earwolf Network which I also listen to that is not very popular called Yo Is This Racist? with Andrew Ti. They could learn a lot from listening to it.
PS: This is thread is supposed to be about the Best of - and not about me or Michael Abelson. My chief problem with the Best of is that CBB episodes curtail to different types of humor, and it is unfortunate that most of the listeners to CBB seem to dominate in a certain type of humor - the kind that like Too Much Tuna, CBB the Movie, Kid Detectives, Solo Bolo, Henong Man, Not Farts Pro, Thomas Middleditch eps, etc - and thus brilliant comedians and episodes like Brendon Small with Victor & Tiny, or John Gabrus or Modern Anti-Comedy or the brilliant Paul Brittain in Shifting Bouncy or RomanTig get shut out of the Top 14. All Three were brilliant and better episodes than most who made it. I am so happy that Scott made that homage to Gabrus who I believe somehow is PFT's bastard son. (No, I don't honestly think he is PFT's real bastard son - it is a joke people, but have to clarify due to some of the comments I read about myself).
The only episodes I have voted for that did make it so far were The Wedding of Gilli & Garry, Goodnight in the Morning, and The 6th Anniversary Special.
PSS: I sincerely hope that my "bizarre ramblings" and especially this one will help to improve and change Comedy Bang Bang and the forums for the better in the coming year. I don't know how, but have tried to navigate this "mind"-field I had created for myself the best of my abilities.
REPOSTING - ORIGINAL GOT CUT OFF:
My name and identity is sacred to me - and I fought hard to have one - living with no identification against one's will when no authority will give you any is not easy to say the least.
I tried to put my own podcast this year, but had the misfortune of my ex partner stealing from me and had three episodes lost. Will be retooling in January.
I have thought a lot about immigrants and immigration, and what it means to be an American in soul & spirit which is something Michael Abelson with all of his privileges will never know. Even though he is probably an American Citizen - he will be always be English in soul and spirit.
So, when I say that our Central American Brothers & Sisters needs to be treated in the same smooth, easy way that someone like Michael Abelson has by our immigration system - it isn't a joke - it is serious. The immigration flaws would be fixed.
So, I guess there are people who think I am a joke - so be it. I am a very strong individual who has survived and conquered many barriers and has had many accomplishments without ID that most Americans have NOT done with all of their advantages. Yes, I consider myself an American - something that Michael Abelson has not earned - he has not suffered for it to the degree I have. His citizenship that he was given is in paper only.
Not that it would happen, but it would be very cathartic for the INS to deport the BP Execs, the HBC Bankers, the Michael Abelsons who defend them, the former French heed of the IMF who raped the African maid (guess who got in trouble with the INS?) and of course Pierce Morgan - back where they belong. Leave the refugees and the masses in the middle alone - only go after the bad people.
Listening to Comedy Bang Bang, Spontaneanation, & I Was There Too gives me solace, and this is not how I want to look in the eyes of Scott or the Earwolf network.
Now if for some reason I do get my situation worked out through Obama then it would be an honor to come onto CBB, and have Scott interview me, but I would want to earn it, and make it real because it would be very fortunate to have that opportunity. This is not a joke - am being on the level, and truth is Stranger Than Fiction. I most likely will never have situation worked out, but if I can be safe for the rest of my life with my little job - then maybe that is the best life I can hope for. I wouldn't buy my way like Michael Abelson - I would earn it.
btw: PFT is an idol of mine. I had tried to join an improv group early in the year - but even though I made them laugh throughout, and the person they accepted did not make them laugh at all - they went with this person I didn't have the experience and this person did. I wish I had the courage to take classes at Second City 20 years ago when I had the opportunity when I was attending film school in Chicago.
No, I am not a hateful person at all - but rather have a similar disposition and natural mindset to Matt Gourley whom I really relate to, and definitely enjoy his I Was There Too podcast. I wish I were a Casting Director because I would give Mr. Gourley his dream role of being squibbed in the most brutal way possible in a scene of a movie directed by DePalma, Scorcese, or a Tarantino Western if I held such power.
I don't know what to say. I came on the message boards last month to talk about the Best of as a form of catharsis (I work through my ex which is how I keep afloat), and wanted to keep it only on the Best of - but some how things got out of control, and no matter how I tried to get it back into Pandora's Box, and move on - but somehow I couldn't. Instead of being cathartic - it was a very Cathartic experience - although I really did enjoy writing my own Would You Rather Game. I think that it was pretty funny, and I hope other people did as well. More importantly - I hope that Scott thought it was funny,.
It would be nice to go on the foru
I was pursuing the Earwolf Message Boards yesterday, and have come across this: http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/27642-best-of-2015-voting/ which puts me in an awkward situation of having to reveal who I am in order to protect my reputation. It was supposed to be about the Best of, but instead disturbingly focused on me. I am not a crazy, hateful irrational person although that it is how it appeared to most people, and since there were a few people on this board wanting to understand me instead of vilify me so here goes. The only comment I was really bothered by on this board is by Fister Roboto btw. Everyone else seemed to be a little more rational even if they though I THOUGHT I wasn't.
The CBB is so littered, as this one was very typical of, with nothing but white males that it is easy to make jokes like it reminds me of the heads of African colonies in circa 1910.
The only thing that really offended me about the post besides my reputation being damaged is that some says that I was writing "With unintentionally hilarious results". Who says that my humor is unintentional. My humor was very intentional.
First of all before I begin - it is very difficult for me to come out - especially in a public forum, and am a little unhappy that I have been forced - but it is better than looking like I am crazy in people I respect like Scott Aukerman or PFT so it is better to reveal a true secret about myself. Although, to be honest, I think that my reputation is damaged regardless of what I say or do at this point so the truth will hopefully work in my favor.
The Best of 2015 thread has become a story of immigrants with three participants:
a. Michael Abelson - a privileged (and there is nothing with wrong that, but it is how you use it; I have many privileged friends - and I have nothing against rich people because I have friends who are - only saying that to clear up) guy who went from Cambridge to Cambridge, and CHOSE to be a Wall Street Litigator for a living. That should tell you he is not a nice chap underneath the seemingly friendly exterior - he has all of those natural smarts - and that is what he chooses to do with it for a living is to defend criminals with an education in suits making sure they never have to go to prison where they belong (and perhaps he does as well). He seems like a guy on the surface, but there has to be a wolf under there - there has to be. Why don't I like him? Well that in combination with how he has been treated by the INS - for him it was probably like going to the Post Office.
b. Scott's wife Kulap, although born in the US and is a first generation American Citizen, is the daughter of Laotian refugees, and had made a documentary about her life and background called Origin Story. I cannot wait to see it, and everyone here should see it when it comes out.
I would love there to be a Cyrano Bergerac type of character to come on CBB and try to skill Scott in the ways of love, but keeps calling her Burlap, and keeps thinking she is lotion. The episode would be titled Burlap is Lotion.
c. and me - yes me. I have been here for 23 yrs (since the age of 16) and have no status to show for it despite being legally married to an American citizen for 18 yrs ((which will end this year), and American ancestry on both sides including an American Grandfather. I have put myself through film school 20 yrs ago, but at the same time have never been allowed to learn how to drive, cannot fly, cannot even check into a hotel, have my own bank account. I developed a serious snag in 2002 which basically renders me a man without a Country I recently wrote to Obama, and am not sure if anything will happen. I am a freak of nature - white on the outside and brown on the inside, and don't belong in either world. It is so ironic that the IRS treats me normal, and I am happy to pay them. They make me feel like I belong.
My name and identity is sacred to
correction - "if even they though I THOUGHT I wasn't (rational)."
I was pursuing the Earwolf Message Boards yesterday, and have come across this: http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/27642-best-of-2015-voting/ which puts me in an awkward situation of having to reveal who I am in order to protect my reputation. It was supposed to be about the Best of, but instead disturbingly focused on me. I am not a crazy, hateful irrational person although that it is how it appeared to most people, and since there were a few people on this board wanting to understand me instead of vilify me so here goes. The only comment I was really bothered by on this board is by Fister Roboto btw. Everyone else seemed to be a little more rational even if they though I wasn't.
My name and identity is sacred to me - and I fought hard to have one - living wi
As for posting on here forever - I hope not - am movin on. That would be hell - trapped here eternally in amber or at least a lemon jelly doughnut from Krispy Kreme. Both are very effective for preserving flies throughout infinity.
could be right not write - oh autocorrect how we love you for making us look like unedgeumacated buffoons - am movin on.
AbelFan - well, I may have heard that factoid last March (or whenever "Guest" first aired), and it shows I am a human being. I let that factoid slip by, and instead concentrate on everything he represented that is wrong with our society in one human flesh & form - instead of enjoying the episode. I could have taken a lesson from my idol PFT, who also seemed to be uncomfortable in the ep, and enjoyed himself.
As for immigration - I do know what I am talking about, but I am not going to get personal here. And if I were to tell you my story - it would only clarify that you could be write that I possibly am the strangest person who has ever lived.
Also, AbelFan - be careful about the psychology of projection - for what we see in others is also what is true about ourselves, and for that reason - you are also most likely one of the strangest people who has ever lived, so welcome to the club. And you know what - I sincerely love you to ;)
Harry, honestly - it was a non event to me - and it didn't bother me at all honestly. For one thing, you have to see from their POV - not your own. Scott was very happy and fortunate that he has a wealthy, generous listener who funded a project for his wife. PFT is excellent at polishing turds - what I mean by that is that he can take a cluster-fuck situation and spin it into gold. With regard to Good Night in the Morning, I said in an earlier comment that is there such thing as "too polished" to be in the Best of the Year, and I discovered during the Best of that everybody went in not knowing what they were doing that shows everyone how talented both Lauren Lapkus and PFT are! I was wrong - it was the opposite of a too polished episode, but both performers made it seem that way.
PFT seemed uncomfortable at first with that episode if I am not mistaken - but he settled in, and with Lauren & Andy he thought he did well. His POV is from that of a performer - and also if you have been paying attention to the Best of - PFT also said that Goodnight in the Morning may have been his number one personal favorite of the year, if I am not mistaken, because it was the only episode this year he had listened to twice.
Both Scott and PFT 's POV regarding the episode are from different standpoints than those of being a fan of CBB.
For me personally, and even though it did make it as #4, I think that both Y'Alls Your Daddy (pushed out by one btw) & Pie Quiz were better PFT episodes.
@Alexander C - the fact that you just learned that my boy Mikey A got on CBB by donating to Kulap's Indie Go Go for her doc is insane. You sure have a lot of opinions about something that you don't even know the most basic information about.
You're the strangest person who has ever lived, and I also hope you post here forever. I never met you but I love you
Alex, out of curiosity, what did you think of the part where PFT said it was probably his personal favorite episode of the year, or the part where Scott said it was up there among his favorites? Doesn't that mean they are irrational and illogical? Don't they have poor, narrow minded, undeveloped taste?
Alex I hope u post here forever
I don't want to be a dick to anyone closing off this thread - and that includes Michael Abelson, and I cannot really blame AbelFan because I am responsible for my own responses.
Agree to disagree - and I find it very intriguing that Kulap used his money to fund her refugee story. I cannot wait to see it. If all immigrants were treated as well as this Wall Street litigator who would never have to worry about about a deportation judge regardless of how he behaved - the flaws in the immigration systems would be fixed.
Peace and Happy New Year
OK, I just listened to Paul and Scott' s full opening of Be Your Guest, and it is what I expected - very matter if fact to introduce the episode.
The only thing I did learn that was informative is ironically that Michael Abelson was funding Kulap's autobiography documentary which is ian Immigrants story and a refugee families story, and I cannot wait to see it after its released- and it is perhaps the only good thing that he has ever done with his money.
Sorry Yalls My Daddy & Pie Quiz fans, but the spoiled child was going to get his way regardless
Definitely not an AbelFan.
Haven't listened to the Beat of yet that dropped today, bit will reply when I am finished.
Expected it be my guest to be in the top 10 and I knew that it would shut out a even better, far more superior Paul F Tompkins episode Y'alls my daddy out of the top 14.and I was right!!!
I knew this episode would make it into the top seven, but not because it's a good episode and I know it's not because it's really that popular.
You do not know how I'm going to react regarding Paul and Scott because they're just reading which episode made it. I will listen to iwhat theu say very carefully and see everything from a global, rational perspective. I will never have anything against Scott & Paul. Why would I?
Of they read off my comments regarding the episode for some strange reason - I would seriously doubt that, but if so - it is what it is - I made my bed, and hoped they enjoyed them, but I wrote from the heart. Like the Solo Bolo, this episode should not be in the Top 14 even though I saw it coming a mile away, and did my best to fight a losing battle.
AbelFan whats your problem? I wished you a Happy Holidays as a way to broker peace and you steal my name as your signoff so you could gloat on what I already saw coming.just to ruffle my feathers. . Am I that really important to you? because you are not that important to me
Ian, got nothing against you because you're an independent fan that has had to put up with my postings, and I appreciate that, and you're not part of the Abelson machine that knocked this episode into the Top 14. If you voted for this episode daily then you saw something in this episode I didn't.
BMG,L #4 baby!! should have been higher but hearing Scott and Paul sing my boy Michael Abelson's praises was great.
p.s. Cool Ho Ho the Naughty Elf post, Alexander C
Can't wait for a certain someone to listen to the Best Of 2015 Part 3 :)
Will he accuse Scotty and Paul of being Michael Abelson too???
Merry Christmas to all from Ho Ho (and his/her little His), and hisher companions, Ha Ha (full of schadenfreude), Hu Hu (the simpleton), Hi Hi (who is always high), and cutest, littlest, most adorable He He.
Michael Abelson and BMG, L - oh, I didn't realize he was a member of the English version of the Blue Man Group also known as Blue Man Group, Ltd. One would think that he would be a member of the Green Man Group because he's a corporate litigator for Wall Street. ( I think I would rather be a dung beetle for an occupation)
Anyways, happy ho-ho-Holidays with Ho Ho to you - no hard feelings. Agree to disagree.
This thread isn't over?
I hope you all voted for my brother Michael Ableson's episode, BMG,L!
Alexander Campbell for first guest of 2016 #yearofalex
I thought PFT as Werner Herzog in 338 was hilarious and one of my favorites from him this year. His interactions with HoHo had me in tears. Also when he and Scott were talking about stoning people with hot coals, for centuries some might say, I was losing it. Great episode.
I love Michael Ableson!
(sorry it got cut off) -
the same privileges as Michael Abelson & co. - that is all. This is a situation I know very well, and given long, hard thought to for over half of my life. That is what would solve the immigration problem, and what is constitutional. Sorry for getting political.
If anyone thinks this is funny - I don't care - lettuce entertain you with bacon & tomato.
I don't know who you are AbelFan - I don't know if you are the same person changing names or different people , but lets this end this thread in the sincere, healthy Christmas fashion of agree to disagree, and be civil with one another. Sincerely Happy Holidays to you and Michael Abelson.
Really you are still trying to do this? I am sure you have tasted Life the cereal, read Life the magazine, and played Life the board game - but c'mon get a life. I know you are decent guy, but c'mon - trying to get me to take the bait - hmmmmm?
I haven't had a chance to listen to the Best of Part 1 yet btw.
Lets not kid ourselves - if Michael Abelson is in the top ten, and I am not saying this to be mean - it is for one reason only - it isn't because he is funny or charming - it is because he is the color of Kermit the Frog - he is green, and for him it is easy to be green - buy your way onto your favorite program, recruit your favorite improv comedian to be your guest who comes across as a little uncomfortable if memory serves me correctly, and then get yourself into the top ten. If the show were actually hilarious and not mediocre - then I would be the first to say it is Top Ten material regardless if I like him or not.
If this episode is in the Top 10 -- it does a disservice to Paul F. Tomkins (which is largely why I think it should not be in the Top 10 & really nothing to do with Michael). If that is the case that this ep is in the top ten, it is because that means one of his more brilliant performances got cut (and I haven't had a moment to listen to Part 1 yet) -- either Pie Quiz, Y'Alls My Daddy, Goodnight in the Morning (which I doubt - but if it is you can thank Be Our Guest for that), Wedding of Gilli & Garry, the annoying Heynong Man (which I seriously doubt - but if it is for some strange reason you can thank Be Our Guest for that), or one I have not covered. I don't think anyone on this board can argue with me here.
The only Be Our Guest that should be in the Top 10 is Betsy Sodaro as Mrs. Potts from Modern Anti Comedy.
Despite all my protestations - I really think it was a mediocre episode over all; it was just that the Guest personally rubbed me the wrong way personally - which is unique to me. I don't know him, but he needs a little more self-awareness how he comes across. Maybe, he should listen to the episode with fresh ears, and learn from it. Also, Michael - get a different line of work please. Seriously, as one Frenemie to another. Would you rather make a lot of money but work in a profession that is morally questionable where you work with people who could be criminals in suits with an education? Or would you rather have a normal job that may not pay that well, but at least it is honest? I would choose the latter.
PS: I am going on a date with an Englishwoman tomorrow - the only Englishperson I have met to ever have trouble with the INS despite trying to the right thing. That is a rarity. If you think that me comparing the English and the immigrants from Central America should be treated identically is hilarious or the fact I am bringing this up on a Comedy Bang Bang thread - well, I cannot help that. Would we ever say to Michael Abelson or an English actor/musician - hey, if you want to become a Citizen - you have to wait ten years to prove yourself, as certain politicians from both parties are expressing, while you live on very humiliating, dehumanizing means, as if you are not created equally to other men. All men are created equally - the immigrants who work three jobs just to barely make ends meet to support their family need to be given the same red carpet treatment - perhaps even more so, like Michael Abelson & others, and free, complimentary oral sex (as I imagine) by the INS when they are stamped to work, travel (both within & leaving the Country without fear of being punished), drive without fear of being pulled over, being able to have a bank account, etc. Yes, I am using humor to convey a very serious situation here, and I would like to think that Michael Abelson humbly agrees with me hopefully.
I am very pro immigration - and think that everyone should be treated the same regardless of who they are. I want our Mexican Brothers & Sisters to be given the
so now we know 'be our guest' featuring the funny and charming Michael Ableson will at least make it into the top 10. I'll be it's gonna make top 5 though.
This thread is the best thing ever
Blenjamin Bluttons? The guy who ages counterclockwise, and resembles Brad Pitt? Could that truly be you?
Hey, bro? it's Blenjamin. BLENJAMIN
Dutch harbor no Aleutians (illusions)
Benjamin, that was funny. I Labrador you. Alaskan people - that was a very 'Inuit-ive things for me to accidentally say. Or maybe I want Nunavut ('none of it')
These Arctic puns are too ice mumbingly painful. I dutcj harbor no Aleutians about that. Need to move on to more Greenlander pastures
They really need to get more Alaskan people on CBB. That's what's missing!
Lame NOT lane, all I ask from people NOT Alaskam people - using phone voice to text and auto correct errors. Now that's funny
If you try to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org it will bounce back because it is full, but email@example.com works fine.
Have a happy holidays
Harassment that is slanderous, mean, or that drains the energy of fun from this message board just terrible
Harassment that is unfunny or lane is even worse
If what some of you were saying was funny, I'll be right there with you laughing,
I have nothing against people from Harvard. My ex wife is from the Ivy League and her boyfriend went to Harvard. I have many friends who have gone to Harvard; it is just that sometimes episodes from comedy bang bang can have entire guests hat just come from that milieu, CBB could diversify other than just with Kumail and Horatio Sanz.
Alaskan people is just too keep listing your end of the year favorites, and don't mind me, and also if you are going to poke fun of me then at least be funny. I can get on board with that however, lawyers are a different story. Unless its Saul Goodman or Matlock, I am not a big fan
Remember that your vote counts, folks. Well, your vote for BMG,L counts. The rest will be thrown in the trash and Scott and Paul will do what they want, as is their wont.
This is where I apply to be a guest on a future ep, right? Great.
Also, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org, so you know this is me, the real My Name.
"No one steals my name, and uses it for their own malicious purposes. I'm sure that's breaking some kind of law where I could take the poster whoused my name under false pretenses to court"
I know a really great lawyer if you want to pursue this. Went to Harvard Law and everything.
Doesn't solve the problem
Just registered - am not sure if it will solve the problem, but II am sure the moderator is hopefully watching
@Alexander Campbell: you know there are proper earwolf and CBB forums on the earwolf website where users have to register right?
I did not write this following post - it is a slander of character, and this poster has crossed a moral line, and it might be illegal. The moderator of the CBB/Earwolf Boards knows who wrote what, and who didn't write what. The way everything has gone does down has gotten ugly, and is turnoff for other posters, and is no longer fun. I apologize on my part.
People can pretend to be someone else or make up a different identity everytime. Hopefully that Earwolf will change their policies so that a person can sign in with a social media app, and we know who is who.
The moderator knows that the post below cannot be traced to my email email@example.com
"You can tell that this is the real me because my email on this posting is firstname.lastname@example.org and not the email of anyone else. This definitively proves my identity, and I can see absolutely no possible way that sharing my email address as a way to confirm my identity would ever lead to abuse or further confusion.
"Anyway, now that that is out of the way, I have a great idea:
Start another contest for a listener to cohost. I will save my money until then so I can definitely win. I will be a great guest on the show because I am committed to fun (as you can see by my performance on this board, making everybody laugh and be happy) and because I have great comedy chops.
So, Scott and everyone at CBB, please give me the chance to spread my incredible gifts to everyone. Be My Guest, Literally: Part 2 is a guaranteed hit and definitely a future #1 on the best of!"
I don't know how to react this except that this is abuse, harassment, and slander - and it turns everyone off. I would never write shit like this. This is not funny.
What I love about voting in this poll is I am taken back to to the location where I listened. Silicone Valley I was walking across the Queensborough Bridge. Bits, RIffs & Friendships I was turning a compost pile. Kid Detectives I was driving to Lowell, MA. And so on. So many of them were listened to while in transit. I can go back to the Staten Island Ferry or an airport or the Midwest and remember the laughs.
That last comment was kind of mean spirited and I regretted publishing it pretty much immediately. I posted a few of the other comments just to see what else the guy would say but I kinda got carried away in a direction that i don't like and am not particularly proud of. My email is email@example.com if you'd like to contact me directly, Alexander. I don't actually think you had ulterior motives in your posting. The Internet is a shitty place because people act like dicks behind anonymity and I just was that guy. My bad.
I came here to disparage a man I am clearly jealous of whilst promoting my own comedic abilities in the hopes of being the next CBB regular but this has gotten out of hand. Everyone was having fun with my bizarre rants and weird comments about white privilege(all the guys I don't think are funny are rich white guys) and then my fun would you rather game was a big hit as evidenced by the massive amount of participation. Now these people have used my name and as a result no one is having fun anymore. I'm contacting my legal team as this is definitely an offense that warrants litigation. My grasp on the legal system is as mature as my would you rather game was hilarious. Anyways, see you guys in court.
Your main man,
The always legitimate
You can tell that this is the real me because my email on this posting is firstname.lastname@example.org and not the email of anyone else. This definitively proves my identity, and I can see absolutely no possible way that sharing my email address as a way to confirm my identity would ever lead to abuse or further confusion.
Anyway, now that that is out of the way, I have a great idea:
Start another contest for a listener to cohost. I will save my money until then so I can definitely win. I will be a great guest on the show because I am committed to fun (as you can see by my performance on this board, making everybody laugh and be happy) and because I have great comedy chops.
So, Scott and everyone at CBB, please give me the chance to spread my incredible gifts to everyone. Be My Guest, Literally: Part 2 is a guaranteed hit and definitely a future #1 on the best of!
a. I am writing on a laptop so no unintentionally hilarious voice to text or autocorrect errors.
b. It is obnoxious to see m name on this post so many times. I cannot stand it. I wrote three in a row (including this one) as a response to the person who wrote three in a row using my name. It zaps the fun out of these message board posts. My Would You Rather Game which I wrote last night was very fun. I encourage everyone to go below, and read it - and yes, I still do feel the same.
c. moderator please change so we see people's emails (all my posts will be revealed as email@example.com) or that we have to from now on log in through Facebook, Twitter, etc to prevent name theft, and to prevent people from promoting an episode such as Be My Guest Literally in a false manner as other message boards do
d. The person who wrote false things that I had re-listened to Be My Guest Literally were not funny using my name, and should be taken to court. If it is Michael Abelson doing this - then his episode should be automatically disqualified from the Best of. He had a good time, and enjoys the show, so what more should he ask for.
e. I hope that everyone laughed their asses off at my would you rather game. It is fun to share comedy chops, humor, and make people laugh especially when you are using humor to expose something rotten.
f. I would rather not write again, unless its to have fun & make other posters laugh intentionally, and just let real posters promote the episodes they really like whether it is CBB the Movie, Heynong Man, etc (episodes I personally don't like, but I can understand why people would)
g. I hope that everyone sees through the Be Your Guest Literally self-promotion machine for what it really is.
h. a. Would you rather watch closeup photos of every single infectious disease ever, while smelling decomposing flesh, while listening to nails on a chalkboard, while being covered in snot, while eating surströmming? or b. re-listening to Be My Guest Literally.?
Everyone have fun
Actually I have changed my mind and decided that I have no problems with how this message board is run and I will continue to post under my name. Please don't change anything.
your boy AC
Sorry for all of those voice to text errors and on the correct errors. I'm using my cell phone
However, I think that people get the message but those three posts in a row or not mine, and can be proven if my email address is shown under my name.
I could take that poster for using my name under false pretenses and sue him
The would you rather post was to make everyone laugh, & I wouldn't have written it if not for 'Paul Hogue " suspicious post. I wonder how many posts are using the same email address, but different names
I don't know if the moderator will review this, but it might stop some of the abuse
I want to have fun on this board, and make people laugh, because making fun of me your gas literally it's so fun. Everybody should try it
Would you rather a. Hop on a pogo stick, that has the same kickback force as a machine gun, where the handle was a sharpened spear that was nestled in your anus with your feet strap to the pedals well you did the Hokey Pokey with a drag queen dressed as the Queen of England? Or b. Relisten to Be My Guest Litterally?
I have not we listen to that episode, and nor would I want to, and this problem can be solved if the moderator is game
The moderator, I would like to ask you to reveal my email address to everybody on this board under my name except for the last 3 that were written three hours ago before this one. My email will read firstname.lastname@example.org
The moderator might want to consider taking off every once mask, reveal the email addresses to every poster so we can see who came from what.
The Problem with this message board is that people can change their names, and cause all sorts of how that goes a result. Names don't reveal who the real commenter is, but an email address would. I hope that the moderator reads this message and fixes it
What other message boards do to prevent this problem is that they have people sign in through a social media app like Facebook or Twitter.. Solve this problem, and maybe for all posts going forward that's what Earwolf should do
No one steals my name, and uses it for their own malicious purposes. I'm sure that's breaking some kind of law where I could take the poster whoused my name under false pretenses to court
PS: does anyone notice, and I'm not saying it is Michael Ableton, but anybody who is defending be my guest literally regardless of the name, including mine, is writing in the same voice? IThe voice has this false cheery socialized politeness that is really the only disguised passive aggression designed to push people around for the own gain. No native born American Citizen would ever use the term "good sport" under any circumstance as Paul Houge did as a certain Englishman might. I don't know if it was Michael Abelson or some jokester
Also, I have a very distinct voice that no one can imitate. My voice is not going to change on a dime. My voice is very humor and very sarcastic and satirical. Whoever wrote those 3 posts under my name sounds suspiciously like the same guy who wrote the Paul Hogue post and some others on this board
Also, my suggestions of walking into a social media app for having your email addressshown nwould prevent the problem of people promoting an episode under different names, in order to promote the episode such as possibly, be my guest literally in order to generate false hype and false comraderie about a certain episode
Michael Abelson should be allowed to donate as much money to comedy gang bang if he wants to, be allowed to listen to it as a fan like everyone else, but he should not be allowed to buy his way onto the program, and possibly fudge with the results at the end of the year so that his episode is in the top 10
When I was writing the would you rather game the other day, it was sparked by Paul Hogue's Indian Kharmen not to leave well enough alone, and let everyone else talk about their favorite episode for real. It was obviously a fake post that was replying to my objections, and putting a positive spin on it. I
had fun last night writing that would you rather game. It was meant to bring joy to people on this board, and maybe other posters laugh, can anyone involved with comedy bang bang or the Earwolf network. I have comedy chops and wanted to share them, & I know that whatever I would like would be funnier than that episode except for Paul F Tompkins of course,
From now on, either I'm not going to post or if that person who stole my name try to provoke me, then I'll just make everybody laugh so that everybody on this message board has a good time and is not uncomfortable with this.
Actually Scott, since you're definitely reading this for sure, you should just make Mr. Abelson permenant cohost. I've really come to respect him and I think he deserves it.
Scott, you should make the contest an annual thing so that we can keep getting great episodes like "Be My Guest, Literally!"
Actually I just relistened to the episode and I think it is pretty good and I like that guy now.
there not their - sorry old age (towards the very end - yes I am literate). If he comes on again then perhaps fellow Celt, and Executive Producer and Head Writer Neil Campbell should moon him.
Paul Hogue, ... , hmmmm, your comment makes me wonder if your comment all similar comments come from the same email & IP addresses.
OK, lets play a friendly game of Would You Rather to decide if this episode should be in the top listed for the year or not:
a. Would you rather have epileptic seizures on a bed of porcupines? b. or re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
a. Be marinated in seal fat and coca cola for several days before being made to made to hug in the nude a celebration of polar bears? b. or re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
a. Write and Direct Dependables VI starring Frank Stallone, Patrick Schwartzenegger, Adolph Lungren Sr., and a jet ski? or b. or relisten to Be My Guest Literally?
a. Do standup in the Borscht Belt in the 1920s? - I don't meet at a Catskills Resort - but rather a beet field in the Ukraine. or b. re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
a. Be in a bisexual threesome with Mama June & Sugar Bear from Honey Booboo in a large vat of biscuits n gravy? or b. re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
a. Risk life imprisonment for stealing the largest storage of rope hidden in an underground vault in Fort Knots? or b. re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
a. roller skate around the top of the space needle, when the skates are entirely made of teflon, and the top of the space needle is covered in black ice while you are only secured with dental floss? or b. re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
a. Be in the middle of a Comedy Blow Bang Circle Jerk and all the participants are Comic Book Convention attendees? (a bu-comic-kkake?) or b. re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
a. for the rest of your life be forced to eat sour cabbage, beans, and broccoli, wear a snowman suit, and legally change your name to Fartsy the Snowman? or b. re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
a. transcribe by hand War & Peace 7 times by candlelight as Leo Tolstoy's wife Sonya did while simultaneously trying to pushup a very large boulder up a hill in Hades as Sisyphus is still eternally doing purportedly? or b. re-listen to Be My Guest Literally?
If anyone said a. or laughed at any of the a. suggestions (including @The Real Michael Abelson) then this episode must actually make the cut on its own merit, and not seemingly sneaky, well-played advertising on CBB Comments boards to get in. What makes me suspicious is that this is people's number one choice - there is no rational, logical explanation why that would be.
or drum roll please:
a. Would you rather listen to Mike Hanford be made to sing every single song John Lennon sang, wrote, or was a part of as an entire episode of CBB? (What makes Mike's impression so brilliant is that he is able to capture the spirit or at least an important aspect of Lennon's character without seemingly not knowing anything about him, the Beatles, or the era? or b. re-listen to Be Our Guest Literally?
There is no one in their right mind - not anyone on this board, not Scott Aukerman or any Earwolf or Wolfpop or Earpop employee, not even Michael Abelson himself, that would choose b. over a.
Look Michael - you had a great time being on your favorite podcast - am sorry that I offended earlier - but we don't have to like you, and their is no reason to keep trying to push this episode down our throats.
"Be My Guest" is my favorite episode, with the "Kid Detectives and "Hey Nong Man" close behind. I actually thought the guest was a lot of fun on "Be My Guest," and was a good sport when PFT was clearly laughing at his job (which was hilarious). PFT as Santa is one of the hardest laughs I've had on the show.
Heynong Man had me in stitches, but the introduction of the time keeper in the 6th anniversary show was absolutely hysterical, my favourite guest of this year.
Sean with Hayes
I think The Wedding of Gilli and Garry, Peruvian Pullover, or anything with John Mulaney are the best, but I had to vote for Not Farts Procreation 4. Harris Wittels was one of the best guests on the show. RIP Harris.
I believe "Bits, Riffs and Friendships" is the only episode having a 40-minute opening segment. It was too good to stop - best Ep of the Year!
Year end favorite is This Comment Thread:(Alexander Campbell, Others)
Listed in descending order:
Ep #355 - Kid Detectives (Lauren Lapkus, Thomas Middleditch)
Ep #351 - CBB: The Movie (Sean Clements, Hayes Davenport, Ben Rodgers & Hayley Huntley)
Ep #343 - Athlete's Head (Alicia Witt, Jon Gabrus & Brendon Small)
349: The 6th Anniversary Show! [Timekeeper]
Ep #348 - Is Y'all My Daddy? (Cameron Esposito, Paul F. Tompkins & Matt Gourley)
Ep #330 - Peruvian Pullovers (Jim Rash, Horatio Sanz)
Ep #388 - Breath Before Death (Neko Case, Mike Hanford & Mookie Blaiklock)
Ep #387 - Most Multiple Personalities (John Grant, John Gemberling & Jocelyn DeBoer)
Ep #366 - Cafeteriapalooza (Bobcat Goldthwait, Joe Wengert & Will Hines)
Ep #336 - NOT Farts and Procreation 4 (Harris Wittels, Chelsea Peretti & Adam Scott)
Be My Guest is near my top for sure...Scott stressing "you are not a person doing a character" prompts one of the greatest PFT off-mic laughs of all time.
Heynong Man is my top for 2015, and in my tops favourites of all time. Also want to give wsome love for Golden Duchess, which contains some nice continuity ("I've got a snake!").
VICTOR & TINY & GABRUS 2015 FAVS
Bang! Bang! Into Your Mouth
Too Much Tuna Tour
A Silicon Valley P-Cast
Solo Bolo: Dos Lo
Bongo vs Bongos
and then my last 2 that were tough to pick among about 10:
Romantic Tommy D
Wompler's REAL 17th Bday
@Alexander Campbell - Hello, as you can see from my username I am the real Scott Aukerman. I have of course been monitoring all your comments with great interest, and I wanted to let you know that no apologies are necessary. As per your suggestion, I will "never hold this contest for the biggest donator to be a guest ever again." Hopefully that will put an end to this discussion. Thanks for being a fan.
Silicon Valley P-cast
Good Night in The Morning
Kitchen Stand up
Comedy Bang Bang: The Movie
Marriage of Gilli and Gary
The Marm of Smarm returns
Wow! I am not sure what to say. But to compare me to Baby Hitler aka Donald Trump is ridiculous, and the real slander.
I am an Immigration Activist @TheRealMichaelAbelson
You cannot compare our wonderful Mexican Brothers and Sisters to Wall Workers which the former (many who are in jail should not be), and the latter (many who are not in prison should be). You may not be one of them, but you might work for them or you might have a beer with them.
Over a decade ago, before 911 I believe, I read a guest editorial in Time Magazine of this Upper Class, young Mexican woman who told us what was wrong with the immigration situation, and the media could have taken hold of this very important, but they chose not to over the years, and blamed the immigrants themselves.
At the time she worked in NYC, and she felt really guilty, because as a summer job, she worked in the Mexican version of the INS, and there was a clear cut policy for anyone of a certain class wanting to visit or live in the United States that they would be denied even if they had all of their papers in order. It broke her heart to give those people who wanted to either visit family or live a better life elsewhere especially when she had the freedom to leave and live elsewhere if she wanted to. This is why there are so many illegals - it isn't because they don't try to do the right thing within the law - it is because they are not allowed.
These people are not criminals, but they are criminalized for trying to the right thing within in the law.
I wish @TheRealMichaelAbelson - I wish those people had the same rights, privileges, and freedoms as you do in order to become a citizen. I am sure your immigration experience was painless, and you talked on CBB about travelling here as a kid frequently or several times. We, as Americans, have more in common with our Central & South American brothers & sisters DNA wise as a whole (European (English is only a small fraction), plus Native American plus African), but yet we treat you like a king.
I have other things to possibly say - but am going to hold my tongue, and wait for tomorrow or not all depending on if it needs to be said.
We need to be making this board about Comedy Bang Bang posts only, and I criticized myself for doing that in earlier posts. Apologize Scott.
Who Said It? Alexander Campbell or Donald Trump?
1. "He is a Wall Street worker - and even though there might be some good people who work there or so I am told - he could be of the criminal type who should be in prison or deported. We don't know."
2. "When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime. They’re rapists and some, I assume, are good people, but I speak to border guards and they’re telling us what we’re getting.”
Can we all just agree that suicide house is a lame tradition?
nope, it's me mate. I spell my name differently for screen names. It's lawyer stuff. I'm from Leeds.
Keep calm and all that
@TheRealMichaelAbelson -- Nice try, but I'm pretty sure the real guy would spell his name correctly. ;-)
I don't appreciate being slandered on this comments board. I am a nice guy and I donated money to an OK cause and won the prize of getting to appear on an ep of CBB! What's the big deal? I don't think it's something to kill yourself over.
Chester, you must be Michael Abelson in disguise, or you must be one of his good buddies, or he is paying your to promote "Be My Guest, Literally!" (the episode he heavily donated to be a part of) to be on Best of The Year. Or perhaps you are trying to start a fight with me or get under my skin which you cannot.
The same goes for Azomonas, who suspiciously has that episode as his number one pick, not too long after Chester. Does that make Azomonas secretly Festus? (Gunsmoke humor reference anyone?)
There is no other rational explanation unless you really have a poor, narrow minded, undeveloped taste. Even people who genuinely like this episode, and have it in their Top Ten would not say something this insane. For one thing, Paul F. Tompkins was not his best here. There are many better PFT episodes: Pie Quiz, Is Y’all My Daddy?, Goodnight In The Morning, The Wedding of Gilly & Garry, and even the annoying Heymong Man to name a few. Michael Abelson was not likable, although he was really trying hard to be, and his career choice was sketchy to say the least.
I hope that Scott Aukerman will never hold this contest for the biggest donator to be a guest ever again - it was too divisive and controversial, and I cannot be the only listener who feels the same. Next time he might get Donald Trump or ISIS Leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (if he is still alive) or some African Dictator as his biggest donor because they love to laugh, and he will have to have them on, because they won the contest. I know that sounds ridiculous Scott - but your biggest fan could be the world's biggest asshole, and I am trying to not let that be me. Ha!
1. Be my guest literally.
2. Beatle Heaven
3. All the rest
"Be My Guest, Literally!" was, in my eyes, far-and-away the best episode of the year. Everything else is playing for second place.
Thank you Ian for your compliment. Maybe it is sarcastic LOL, but I was concerned I would be pillaged for my (ass?)-inine comments. My name is waspy enough to qualify though, but not as waspy as Hayes Davenport. Wheres my Bentley and Harvard Degree please?
On the other hand, I do question your taste in Be My Guest Literally - would rather have my balls frozen and served as Holiday hors d'oeurves than listen to that ep ever again - but what is great about Comedy Bung Hole is that there really is something over one because not every episode is for everyone - it does really sincerely try to cater different tastes in humor.
I do agree with Ryan with regard Claudia O'Dougherty, and Romantic Tommy D - even though her eps did not make it into my personal Top Ten - they do make it into my personal Top 15 BBBBBBonus.
I wrote a letter to Obama the other day for activist reasons, and I thought of suggesting Paul F. Tompkins and his Spontanionation (sic) crew for the upcoming White House Correspondences Dinner, but then I thought better of it, because PFT looks too much and dresses too much like John Wilkes Booth LOL
That Sean & Hayes, though...
I'd also like to submit a write-in vote for Alexander Campbell! Get him on as a guest! He sounds like lotsa fun!
I had real trouble getting it down to 10. My shortlist was 25 greps long. And I didn't vote for NotF&P because I couldn't listen to it again. Too sad. I'm sure it will top the vote without my vote anyway
1.338 – Be My Guest, Literally!
2.335 – The Wedding of Gilly and Garry
3.349 – The 6th Anniversary Show
4.351 –CBB: The Movie
5.377 –Good Night in the Morning
6.348 –Is Y’all My Daddy?
7.356 – Hey Nong Man
8.374 –Tick Tock Clawk
9.375 – Wompler’s REAL 17th B-Day Womptacular
10.329 – Too Much Tuna Tour
No one mentioned the ep with Colin Hanks and Wild Horses??!!! Seriously that is my all time favourite episode of CBB. If Golden duchess cruise liners isn't in the top 10 then I give up! I have re-listened many times and it is always laugh out loud funny
I'm shocked no one has mentioned Bongo vs. Bongos - an all time great for me.
What am I missing about Sean & Hayes? I don't exactly find them funny or even entertaining,