Would you keep reading?

  • No
    8%
    2 votes

     
  • Yes
    77%
    20 votes

     
  • Other
    15%
    4 votes

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2 Comments

  • Gayle Moore-Morrans - 4 years ago

    You've awakened my curiosity as to what this cloning is all about and also about the protagonist's relationship background. Keep on keeping on! You write well. My only critiques so far would be to get a good copy editor as I see several mistakes in spelling/typing (eg., "he" instead of "the") and also grammar errors (eg., got back "into" bed, not "in" bed.)

  • Dana - 4 years ago

    The only thing I'd change is so minor it's ridiculous - I'd use "worn" instead of "wear" in the sentence, "...on a wear spot on the laminate".

    It's a wonderfully intriguing beginning; giving just enough information to make me want to know more about the lead's relationship with her father, why they've had their falling out (I'm sure his alcohol consumption had something to do with it, but perhaps it was his involvement in the first suspiciously mentioned cloning project) and of course, who doesn't want to learn more about the ex? :-).

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