Were you compelled to turn the page?

1 Comment

  • Gary Wedlund - 7 years ago

    There are some things that stick out in the work that could be addressed. Usually opening by going somewhere is a bit cliché. Kind of a mulling things over horse ride.
    Along the way, the character talks to himself, and that's not terribly compelling; you might as well have just been internal. Otherwise it is internal and we get some info dumped on us by the end of the opening portion.
    Finally, there are a lot of typos. Usually I can care less about a typo, and in blogs we see lots of them because people are being quick. But if you are submitting a small portion for review, take it seriously.
    What you probably want is to find a moment in the story where something actually is happening. The exposure of the world and the quest can happen way after any introductory SCENE. Do not clean off the desk. Just give us something that smells of plot point.

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