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I liked the work put into the setup, but it also feels a little generic. As well, it is getting to the scene as opposed to being at the scene. The detective pretentiously impressing the beat cop as she or he enters a crime scene is cliché in a way that does not necessarily drive sympathy to the viewpoint. You almost had sympathy with the patience for the cop doing his job line, but you lost it just as fast. Have her be bitchy toward those who deserve it, as we come to like the quirky attitude that is such a draw. Getting us to want to be with the viewpoint is important.
Anyway, nice work with lots of potential.