I grew up with 2 GWCs who both carried blocked grief their whole lives. Crying, raging, isolating, silence. I wasn't allowed to cry as a child. Now it is good to know that crying helps to heal. I was always afraid that if I allowed myself to feel the sadness and cry, I'd never smile again, never surface from the horrible feelings. Although facing all of my losses is frightening, I'm glad that now I can give myself permission to list them and write about them, talk about them with my counselor, spend time in meditation feeling the feelings, and look forward to the time when I will not be afraid of the sadness. I'm starting to feel human again.