Would you turn Cathy's first page? Be tough. Comments help the writer.
1 Comment

  • Perry - 10 years ago

    I found myself questioning the wrong things. It does suggest a nice little conflict of social expectations but I wondered if the female character was a child when she didn't know what 'mesmerize' meant. But then I realized she was probably an older girl.

    I think this needs bit more setting than it has.

Leave a Comment

0/4000 chars

Submit Comment