Would you turn the chapter's first page? Be tough. Comments help the writer.

1 Comment

  • Perry - 13 years ago

    Too bad. The prologue was better than the first chapter.

    I found it a bit jarring to read and there were some writing issues that jumped out.
    For example:
    When describing the laugh, I would have preferred something less vague.
    "Seth Archer laughed, not a happy one, a nervous one"
    "Seth archer laughed, not his usual warm chuckle, but a thin almost hiccup of a laugh."

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